the ex is an ex for a reason
Start talking about big dicks! Lol and once he gives u that look you then say the same look u have I had the same look! U don't wanna hear bout dicks well I don't wanna hear about ur ex *****! It's reason y its called ex!
If it makes you uncomfortable, say so. You're not required to be infinitely understanding, though it would be nice if everyone could be.
Think it through before raising the issue though. Is this really her issue or yours? Either way, instead of confronting her about her insensitivity or what-have-you, approach it as a request for her help, as in: "I need your help with something. I'm finding it difficult to control my feelings of ______ when you talk about your ex. If you could avoid bringing him up when _____ or _______, it would really help me to be more comfortable with things. I'm sure this insecurity will pass, but please just humor me for awhile," or words to that effect.
There's no need to pick a fight about it. Even if she has been doing it on purpose, approaching it like this puts you on the moral high ground and may make her re-think her own motivations without requiring a confrontation.
My own case is quite different. Not only do I not feel threatened by her ex, but we've hung out with him at her mother's house and he's still in regular contact with her and all of her family. He was a friend of her brother's first, practically grew up in her family, and after she divorced him they stayed friends. She pussyfooted around the subject for about a year, but the only thing that made me jealous was that. Once she came clean about the situation it was fine. I don't care if she sees him, she chose ME.
When they talk about their exes when you didn't ask for their information then to me, they ain't over it at all but there are 2 diff reasons for it. They feel bitter and feel like they're comfortable talking about it with you or they still have feelings for them. Talking from experience.
I neva talk about mine unless I was asked and when asked I try not to badmouth them.
Havent we all got history?
And exs are exs for a reason?
I guess it depends on your relationship at the end of the day. You know him better than we do?
Good question. I don't know. Therapists say that all feelings are legitimate. Feelings, they say, are not right or wrong. I think what you are asking about is what is the mature, emotionally healthy way to react to your spouse discussing her ex. And I do not know. If you find out, let me know.
What a good attitude you have towards this. I'm routing for you.
that I am the ex and not he