Nobody can change if they don't see a need to. If an abuser thinks his behavior is called for or appropriate, then he won't see himself as an abuser.<br />
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There are treatments and programs for abusers, but getting him to attend is difficult. Getting him to attend<br />
AND learn from it, impossible, unless he sees a reason to change.<br />
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It works this way for any human behavior - we don't change unless highly motivated by something.

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He won't change, even if he knows what he is doing is abuse. He has himself convinced that he is in the right. Or it's fun.

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While it seems impossible, it is possible. <br />
My father was highly abusive. Outright monster, he was. <br />
Victims no longer in the same environment, all of a sudden the mother effer finds god and now a devout catholic follower and even accepted into the Knights Of Columbus. Makes me sick.

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Yes but once he was surrounded by people again, and his stress levels increased, I wonder if he could still control himself?? Don't forget he has to live with the pain he caused you and your family and it may seem easy for him now, but I believe we all have to make up for our "sins" at some time or another. Also...I bet his actions made you at least a better man. I hope so. :-) Remember that. ;-)

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Abusers are usually extremely manipulative and tend to make everyone who doesn't know how the abuser truely is feel sorry for them and see them as the victim! It is very sick...it seems that they actually believe their own ish!

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No one can change another person, for any reason, ever. All change comes from oneself.<br />
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So, you are right. If he doesnt see a problem, you cannot expect a change.

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NOPE!!! You need to get out because he knows what the **** he's doing.

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highly unlikely

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The only person you can change is yourself. Get out, you deserve better.

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He'll change. Once he's 6 feet under

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lol......

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the most unfortunate thing is that all abuser don't think they have a problem, they make you feel you are the one who has a problem, they will torment you until you loose yourself. It's good you left.

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Good job. I'm actually proud of you.

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