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I hate Christmas now! I'm not shopping and I don't want a tree. I feel so sad for the kids though. But what am I supposed to do? Should I fake being a happy family?
saidanddone saidanddone 36-40, F 12 Answers Dec 7, 2012 in Affairs

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I found out my ex cheated on the October- and couldnt possibly fake a happy family christmas-BUT- made it a different christmas, and it was a great . they can spend time with their dad and his family for part of the day- and then with you for another part. They will know you are no longer "together" but that they are still loved by both of you. Go to family, go out for dinner or have friends round, keep busy and you Will enjoy, and yes, better to discover now about his cheating ways and begin a new chapter. good luck,all the advise is well meant. x

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fake it honey......have a great x-mas & dont let him wreck it for the kids...but especially for YOU!!!!!!!!!! time to make x-mas & all other times fun & happy :) best of luck....

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Yes you need to suck it up, put on your big girl panties and avoid showing your unhappiness for your children. You don't have to be Mary Sunshine but you can be attentive to them and enjoy their happiness. All that stress is not good for children and it will stick with them for the rest of their lives in all sorts of ways.

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I don't want to damage them for life or anything but I remember plenty of Holidays when I got a ton of presents and my parents were so phony and my Dad was a real jerk and everyone was so unhappy! I would have given anything just to have a happy family but my Mom thought she could make us happy with a bunch of presents.

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If you can't successfully act happy for your children knowing it's Christmas then you're not practicing good parenting. I'm sorry but you just shouldn't do that to them. Don't make excuses for being pouty. Get over your disappointment that things have changed in a bad way for them. Put it aside, lock it away, do what you have to do to appreciate the joy you find in your children and whatever else hasn't done you wrong. It's not faking it. It's putting them first and giving them what they need. You can pout later if you still feel you must.

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*christmas or whatever other sacred holiday you celebrate

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Last year is gone and tomorrow hasn't happened yet. The only time that makes sense is to-day. Enjoy your kids100% and give yourself something wonderful. HUGS

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You HAVE to fake it. do not ruin christmas for any kid because YOU made a bad choice in men. Get over it and make it good for the kids.

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Your kids are gonna have to understand being a mother is very stressful more so when you're having issues with your spouse! Perhaps there is something else you and the kids can do?!

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You just answered your own question. For the kids. Stop being selfish. I know its hard and it hurts. But, this is for them...not him, or you. Think of THEM.

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do it for your children, they are the most important people in your life right now. never mind him. throw all your energies into them...

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I would say try your best, or they'll remember Christmas as a time of glum sadness.

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Because Christmas isn't about you.. it is about your kids. Are you kidding me here?

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It's not like that. I don't care about me. I'm just trying to sort out this mess.

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Sorry I get a bit sensitive about kids and Christmas and Mothers in general. My Father died when I was a 11 and my mother had a terrible life working two waitress jobs to just to make things work. But she never let that steal our childhood and always put us first even though she was dying inside (literally she had cancer). And to this day, I remember my mother with the utmost respect and love. She was a person that was dealt a crappy hand but never let it effect our lives. So I would say for your kids sake you need to suck it up and one day they will understand your pain and appreciate what you did. If not they will be sitting on a couch one day explaining why their parents were the cause of all their failures.

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