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How can i cope with the reality that my sick son may die before me?

it seems the parents should go first. that is not always the case. my son has a sickness that he will die from,unless he gets a transplant. one doctor said he did not qualify and another medical person, said, maybe. in any case, the reality is i need to be prepared. how. i pray. i am spiritual. but, this is still hard to bear.

Posted 11 months ago

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Waiwera

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wholehearted...
It has been said, and I have to agree, that our children are not really ours to own - they are "loaned by God", given into our care to care for and be with for a space of time; but when the time for any of us comes for us to go, it is best for all concerned if we let them go without wanting to hold on to them. It may sound cold-hearted, but I don't believe it is necessarily so... One can still treat our children as fellow human beings given unto our care, and be "full-on" loving and attentive to them, yet KNOW for a certainty that at any time their time may be up, and be ready to simply bless them on their way.

You say that you are spiritual; then the concept that Life is eternal should not be strange to you. You will know that life here in the 3-D physical world is temporary, and yet we do not really die. Physical death is but a doorway; and your son has been given into your care at this time for some reason that we may not know until reasons are revealed after our own freeing from this body.

So rejoice that you were selected to bear your son and take care of him, love him and spend perhaps many happy hours with him yet; then with quiet joy for a job well and lovingly done, let him go onwards on his journey when the time comes.

Many blessings and hugs!

Posted 11 months ago

Other 7 Answers to How can i cope with the reality that my sick son may die before me?

lashanda	Posted Dec 3rd, 2008 at 4:22PM I am sorry to hear that. Spent most of the time with and do things as much as he can. I am here if you need some one to talk to. It is hard. Mine never died. But they took him away from me when 3 and seen some and then10 and it been 19years that we never seen him. But it does feel that he was gone. I feel some like you. I dont feel like a mom to him . Just a freind. Again I am sorry. All the hugs I can give you. Lashanda Rated: +2Vote for this!
EverAlone	Posted Dec 3rd, 2008 at 4:22PM By accepting the reality that even a healthy child may die before you. The only day we have is today. Tomorrow, everything may be gone, or it may be right where we left it... but there's no guarantees either way. This is why proper prioritization of our lives is so important Never put off till tomorrow what you'll regret if their isn't one. I cannot tell you how much time you have with your son. I cannot tell you how much time I have with my girlfriend- only that I do my best to make sure every day she knows she is loved, knows she is first in my heart, and feels as happy and fulfilled as I can help her become. Somedays we will fail- that's human. Most days we will succeed. Every day we must try. Rated: +2Vote for this!
jinda	Posted Dec 3rd, 2008 at 4:22PM the main thing is to not give up hope that your son will get a transplant.....i wouldn't accept there inhumane decisions .....i would write to obama ... they say your boy doesnt qualify for a transplant what a load of crap.....if he needs one to live then he damn well should qualify..... do only the rich qualify from what i understand one of obamas election promises was to fix your healthcare sytem....he is such a compassionate man who exudes hope to the whole world... a global collective conciousness of hope is a powerful weapon he has given us write to him.......and write to oprah and ellen.. continue to fight for your sons right to live i wouldnt give up trying everything you can to make them give your boy a transplant i wish you and your boy all the hope in the world Rated: +2Vote for this!
RESCUE	Posted Dec 3rd, 2008 at 4:22PM Nothing can justify a death of a child for any reason. Children are meant to live long enough to be children but thats not always the case. Some of us are dealt terrible blows in our lives and a lot of them have to do with our children. There is no logicial answer as to why a child dies before its parents but it happens and it happens for a reason unknown to us. The Lord knows that you and your child are suffering and he knows the reason why. Only he can answer our prayers and sometimes the answer is not always the one we are looking for but it is the best he can give us for the moment. Put your child in his hands and he will give you the peace you both need regardless of the answer. My prayers are with you and remember he loves both of you. Rated: +1Vote for this!
RocknRose	Posted Dec 3rd, 2008 at 4:21PM It's not quite cope..its more like survival..i lost my cousin a few months ago..he was 16... in a car accident... while your in the hospital you hold on to all hope..every little ounch of it..but when its all said and done and you see the life drain away... you go into a sense of denial... I still miss him..I use to see him walking among strangers... out of the corner of my eye... so again you dont' really cope..your survival skills step in..whether its denial or blatent disregard for everything... I wish you luck..and i'm sorry... the one thing I have learned from this is "you are entitled to your feelings" dont let anyone tell you not to miss him..not to cry... Rated: +1Vote for this!
Creamsicle	Posted Dec 3rd, 2008 at 4:21PM You just have to. It's a terrible terrible thing to go through.... I lost a grandson to an incurable genetic disease and I am well aware of what you must be going through. My suggestion is to try to enjoy every single moment of the life he has while he's still here. Don't start grieving til he's REALLY gone, he deserves to be loved and happy for the little while he's here, not treated like he's already gone- there'll be plenty of time for grieving later. Rated: +1Vote for this!
starflower713	Posted Dec 3rd, 2008 at 4:23PM I have lost 4 babies due to miscarriage and even though its not quite the same as loosing a child you have held in your arms or raised, it is still grief and it is still very painful. I would suggest finding a local support group. You might ask the nurses caring for your son, they are probably familiar with the local support groups. If going to a meeting is not convenient, you might consider finding an online support group with other parents going through the same thing. SHARE.com is a great resource and they provide many support groups for parents who are loosing or have lost a child for any reason both locally and online. Rated: +1Vote for this!

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