How can I deal with another birthday?

My birthday is in a few months and I am already dreading it. It's always the same. My husband will ask me what I want for my birthday and I will say nothing. To explain this I will say I always wanted to have my own baby and being I am sterile and my husband refuses to adopt saying I want a baby upsets him and he yells at me. I am also a dog person and due to living in my husband's new house I am not permitted to have any pets so my saying I want a pet is out of the question. I don't understand the logic of a man that would ask me what I want only to say 'NO'. I also get annoyed that my husband invites his parents and sons from a previous marriage to a party he throws for me and I have to *act* like I enjoy their company and the gifts they give me. Am I out of line for trying to ditch my birthday this year? I'm thinking of going to the movies and just avoiding this situation.

Posted 4 months ago

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gerrynchappster

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

Can I ask YOU a question?
Do you really want to be with this guy for the rest of your life if some of the most important things to you, don't seem to matter to him? I am not advocating you leave him, I believe marriage should be a sacred commitment, not lightly thrown to the side. But, having a child, or wanting a child is something that is a huge deal to someone. If you aren't wanting the same things out of life, aren't you just going to resent it later when it's too late to do anything about it?
I can't say that my marriage is a bowl of cherries, but we want the same basic things in life and that makes it a bit easier to try to keep it together. But if he didn't want the same important things in life, than it would be a waste of time for both of us.
Best of luck to you.

Posted 4 months ago

Other 7 Answers to How can I deal with another birthday?

waitingforgodot	Posted Jul 1st, 2009 at 10:01PM the problem is not your birthday, the problem is your marriage and that he is not the right person for you. Get out; start making plans and leave. You are not getting any respect or support on anyday, particularly your birthday. Rated: +4Vote for this!
denverguy	Posted Jul 1st, 2009 at 10:00PM So your husband is all about not giving you what you want? Where is the love he claims to have for you? Rated: +2Vote for this!
snowlady	Posted Jul 1st, 2009 at 9:29PM If I were you I would just be honest and tell him you want to have it ignored, rather tahn to say "nothing"! He sounds like a jerk in some ways, but that is besides the point! Rated: +1Vote for this!
midlifemadness	Posted Jul 1st, 2009 at 11:07PM You need to deal with your sadness and unhappiness in your marriage. Please, go talk to someone who can offer you support and advice. Go see a marriage counselor! It might do you a world of good!!! hugs Rated: +1Vote for this!
rubythursday	Posted Jul 1st, 2009 at 11:22PM Waitingforgodot is right - the problem is your marriage. Get out. Let that be your birthday present to yourself - hopefully an early present. The guy has no respect for you or your feelings. That sense of dread if your soul telling you something is wrong. Rated: +1Vote for this!
Greg862	Posted Jul 2nd, 2009 at 1:56AM ^^^^What they all said. I can't believe you are with this guy, considering all the negatives you cited about your relationship and his reactions to your desires and wishes. News flash: This guy doesn't appear to really love you much at all, from all you have described. Sorry.... Rated: +1Vote for this!
whowasthatmaskedm an	Posted Jul 2nd, 2009 at 7:24AM While I agree with others that your marraige seems to....whats the word?...suck, I'll address the question you asked for help with. I suggest you book yourself (and a female friend or two if you like) into a spa somewhere away from home for the occasion. Tell him as you are leaving. Then when you get back, talk to him about the dog walking business you were thinking of setting up. Rated: +1Vote for this!

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