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I had an eating disorder and I'm scared of being alone and losing control even though I am supposed to be healthy now. I guess what changed was that I moved in with someone and lost myself, then someone new and the same happened. It is hard to find back to that feeling. Sometimes I isolate myself when I long for it so desperately. But I still cant find it.
paskiainen paskiainen 26-30, F 8 Answers May 28, 2010

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Improve your "Self Esteem". In other words, take pride in yourself. If you can't be proud of yourself, who do you think will do it for you? People only care about those who care for themselves.

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An eating disorder is a symptom of anxiety disorder. A hundred years ago there were no eating disorders but there were anxiety disorders. People drank, did drugs, worked till there fingers bled. Anxiety is a constant and the most common mental illness. Many drugs for it today. And that's what you need because anxiety is short alleles in your brain. Physical thing that you can do nothing about. It's like telling someone with diabetes to lower their blood sugar without insulin. It's a real disease and why not treat it and have a life--you'll need drugs for the rest of your life but who cares? You can be happy and calm if you make up for the raw hand you were dealt. You gotta play the hand you were dealt. The cards will never change--only the way that you feel about them.

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Why did you lose it?

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I don't blame you. What changed?

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Sounds like the eating disorder may have caused you some anxiety. You may find it valuable to talk to a therapist and he might suggest some techniques or medications to help. <br />
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If you are committed to figuring this out on your own, I'd suggest trying some deep breathing or meditation techniques. And perhaps most valuable, would be to find something you really enjoy doing by yourself and using this as a starting point.

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Peace of mind has to come from within a person. Others can affect our lives whether good or bad but we do have control over our emotions and feelings. First recognize that it is alright to be alone and take this time to think on what you enjoy as a solitary pleasure and things that are healthy and good for you. Do you like to read? Pick up some books at the library and read something that brings a smile to your face. As you have had two relationships that did not turn out as you wished, it might help to read books about relationships. Take your alone time as one in discovering who you are and the good qualities you possess. Any time you feel doubt in your mind say to yourself that you want to be happy and content. As you continue to practice this you will find yourself feeling better and empowered. Peace,D.

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Thank you for your reply. <br /><br />
Relationships I had lasted both almost 5 years.<br /><br />
It seems that relationships are very complicated for my kind of person. I wish I was more simple. <br /><br />
yes I like to read and have a couple of books that I'm currently reading. <br /><br />
I guess the problem is that I feel often uncomfortable with people. I am very shy, but it doesn't show because I avoid deeper contact with people.<br /><br />
My ex was so talkative and full of himself, that it did not really matter who I was or if I was anybody at all. He did all "being", I just hung around. <br /><br />
Of course this is a problem I self need to solve and should not accuse others about it. I self chose to be with him. <br /><br />
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Now when he is gone, it feels I'm nothing. He filled me. But I know I am a lot of things. It just feels I'm in a dark place and cant see it. Everything like that is so unknown to me. I am a child of an alcoholic and was raised to be invisible. I am invisible for myself too. It is only through arts when I can really be in some kind of connection with my true self. But it is not enough. I'm afraid of my colleagues and don't have enough guts to get to know them. This is the issue with myself too. I hate myself and don't want to be present in me. <br /><br />
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And yes I'm seeing a therapist. And they give me medicine. Then they say you are fine, you can stop taking pills and you are done with the therapy as well. I just get more and more confused with them.

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I believe that feeling stems from being happy and content with yourself (as opposed to by yourself). Maybe you should ask yourself what changed in that area.

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Do you know that you are created in God's image?and that He loves you and has a PLAN for your life/a purpose that He wants to show you? But, you must come to Him and ask for forgiveness of your sins. He gives that freely and willingly! Then ask Jesus, God's Son, into your life as your Saviour, your Lord! For it is only He that holds the keys to true life.

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I am happy for you that your faith has helped you to find peace. But I choose to take personal responsibility for my life and be more proactive.

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