You shouldn't forgive them. But they haven't ruined your life. They may have made things harder but you can still do whatever you want, if you can find a way to move past it.
I think you have to have it in your heart to forgive. If you are ready then you should let it go. Talking about it helps too.
There is professor that has written several books that you would enjoy reading because he has helped many many women with their suffering and their shame regarding this issue!
John Bradshaw is his name! Please take a minute and look him up. Also another book is 'HEALING POWER' Ten Steps to Pain Management and Spiritual Evolution.
Get into treatment, this is a "journey" and will take time for you to heal. When you get to the point of forgiving this person, you will be free. Keep moving forward are remember it takes time.
Tell your dad this and this is classic: I was sexually abused from the age of 5.5 through my teen years. It was on and off and by two different people. Because I didn't get help, I ended up placing myself into a vulnerable position and was raped at 24. That's when I started counseling and counseling helped me tremendously. I should have had counseling years prior. Also because of the truama, it triggered bipolar disorder and I had many problems in my 20s and 30s but finally pulled it together with medication and counseling and God!!
It depends upon the training and philosophy of the therapist. There are different schools of psychotherapy just as there are different schools of thought on medicine. There is client centered, or essentially client directed talk therapy, more directed talk therapy and therapy involving both talk, behavioral/cognitive modification and even the use of pharmaceuticals. Therapists are not one size fits all. If you do decide to pursue therapy, research for the right therapist for you.
This is a very hard thing for any one to get over. I too was molested but I do not tell many people about it. I prefer to just keep it as a "forgotten memory" being that I don't think of it at all until someone else brings up the subject.
Now you can forgive the person, but not the act. If that makes any sense.
personally I would not forgive anyone for that. That is Gods job and I am not God.
What I had to do was this: I told myself what happened was wrong, and never should have happened. Not everyone is like that and I should not fear other people because of that person. I survived it, I am grown, and no one will ever do that to me again. It is over and done with. - That is what helped me.
I've found putting a 230gr. 5 calibre slug in the head helps quite a bit. Then you can **** on their grave.
Well, I know how to dispose of the body, so it will never be found, If you need help just give me a call.
and that's a 45 calibre slug, don't know where the 4 went.
Seriously though, just live your life normally, and don't let the bastard get you down. Say to yourself, from this day forward you will not let what he has done to you, rule your life anymore.
I have one other question, did you report him? If not you need to, not for yourself but for the others he may harm.
God Bless, and If you ever need a sympathetic soul to talk to, message me, I'll listen.
I'm sorry but I just flagged that comment because I felt the statement could or would trigger emotions. You never know what state of mind people are in when they have been sexually molested and trying to get help! Hugs!
You don't have to forgive. Hopefully you can move forward though without being so scarred that you can't trust others.