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How can I get it through my dad's thick skull that he has to actually TALK to my mom to solve problems? (Details)

She's in hawaii to visit our family since my grandfather (on her side) is very sick and my grandmother (on my dad's side) is in the hospital as well. She didn't call him one day and now he won't talk to her at all. She doesn't even know if he'll pick her up on friday when she comes home. I have a feeling that this might finally lead to their divorce, though I can't be sure. I can't tell him directly, he's such a damn hardhead. So any ways you think I can help resolve this issue? I'm already in the middle of it.

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7 Answers to "How can I get it through my dad's thick skull that he has to actually TALK to my mom to solve problems? (Details)"

  1. Mencrytoo - 46-50 years old - male

    Posted by Mencrytoo Feb 8th, 2013 at 11:14PM

    I know what you are going through. My Wife and I had a falling out back in May....she was cheating on me and I found out. I tried to end my life over it. The problem is not yours to have to work out. I too have a Daughter who is 17 years old and she is trying to fix something, that is unfix-able. Something has happened in their relationship, that has brought it to this point. My problem is, my wife of 23 years won't talk to me. Usually the person who is unwilling to talk is at fault for something they don't want to admit. Don't feel like you are in the middle and don't place yourself there. Grown ups have to learn to work things out on their own. Some of life's problems are too big to understand....even for adults, so let it work itself out. I'm sorry you feel this way. Be strong. (HUG)

    Like (1)

  2. jatpack3 - 36-40 years old - male

    Posted by jatpack3 Feb 8th, 2013 at 11:10PM

    They may have deeper issues than this. Best to just be supportive and hang back.

    Like (1)

  3. ForgottenCelestria - female

    Reply by ForgottenCelestria Feb 8th, 2013 at 11:12PM

    Deeper issues...that's an understatement. They've reminded me time and time again that they didn't originally marry for love...

    Like (1)

  4. ForgottenCelestria - female

    Reply by ForgottenCelestria Feb 8th, 2013 at 11:13PM

    He's done something like this before, but never to this extent

    Like (1)

    2 more replies
  5. AlphaJed - 22-25 years old - male

    Posted by AlphaJed Feb 8th, 2013 at 11:07PM

    If he is a man, which judging by the description he sounds like one, then he doesnt know how to talk he probably prefers grunting and he probably feels hurt so his natural defence mechanism is to withdraw from the situation which only makes worse. You have to slowly pry him back out so keep on him and make him understand

    Like (1)

  6. ForgottenCelestria - female

    Reply by ForgottenCelestria Feb 8th, 2013 at 11:08PM

    How would I go about doing that?

    Like (1)

  7. AlphaJed - 22-25 years old - male

    Reply by AlphaJed Feb 8th, 2013 at 11:12PM

    Tell him what you are scared of and tell him what you want. Ask him what he wants.

    Like (1)

  8. bohaven - 46-50 years old - male

    Posted by bohaven Feb 8th, 2013 at 11:06PM

    He probably isn't listening.Shame......

    Like (1)

  9. loveconsultant - 26-30 years old - male

    Posted by loveconsultant Feb 8th, 2013 at 11:06PM

    nothing will happen just a instant reaction, happens in married life.. dont worry this will not lead to divorce

    Like (1)

  10. ForgottenCelestria - female

    Reply by ForgottenCelestria Feb 8th, 2013 at 11:07PM

    I see...well they mentioned divorce 10 years ago but when I said no and started crying, they dropped it...they stopped fighting so often but now it's starting to escalate again

    Like (1)

  11. loveconsultant - 26-30 years old - male

    Reply by loveconsultant Feb 8th, 2013 at 11:12PM

    i will divorce u is a common threat given in between married couple.... but moral values dont let it be done.. only in some cases it happen

    Like (1)

  12. emoenjr - 46-50 years old - male

    Posted by emoenjr Feb 8th, 2013 at 11:06PM

    Just go point blank at him and say it. Tell him how you feel and what you see. Then you've said what you needed to and it's up to him to respect it or not.

    Like (1)

  13. infpisme - 46-50 years old - male

    Posted by infpisme Feb 8th, 2013 at 11:04PM

    get used to it..... Your boyfriend will NEVER understand this either!

    Like (1)

  14. ForgottenCelestria - female

    Reply by ForgottenCelestria Feb 8th, 2013 at 11:06PM

    He does though. My boyfriend and I have virtually no secrets. Tells me when something's bothering him and I do the same. It's just my dad.

    Like (1)

  15. infpisme - 46-50 years old - male

    Reply by infpisme Feb 8th, 2013 at 11:11PM

    good for you.

    Like (1)

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