ekfish54 ekfish54 51-55 14 Answers Feb 4, 2009

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The best way to get over one person is to get under another person.

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You just need to convince yourself everyday to get over it until one day it will be over...

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by doing something more creative,in life your body is your castle your mind is your weapon use them, exercise your

head every day ,wake up i think you are awake but you left your head in the water. move on ,have energy, unger to put you out of this situation that you are choose to be in. NOw you know how. Cheer up pal,life just playing wiyh you.

So be the winner

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He said he loved me. He overwhelmed me. He was the best guy anyone could ask for. In a flash, it was over. Whenever I go to him, he runs off. LITERALLY. I can't stop obsessing about him.

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I have been married 40 years I fell in love with my sons ex. It has been hard, you may condemn or laugh, go ahead. This has hurt me pretty bad

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I am obsessed with a girl I barely know. I want her to be my everything, because... I don't know. I find her in my dreams, distracting me from anything I do. I'm finding it really hard to get over her, because I see her constantly, lauging. She's amazing. I'm a girl, by the way. I'm in school, and I don't fit in... Maybe that's why. Because she's so pretty and popular, I think I just want to be her, or at least get to know her, make her notice me. I HAVE to get over it. I'm thinking of ruining my life to be close to her. To be in the same university, the same job. I even want the same pets as her. This is getting too much for me to handle. What do I do?

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How Can I Get Over a Crush?

“FOR most teens,” wrote one youth-oriented magazine, “crushes are as common as colds.” Almost all youths experience them, and almost all manage to survive to adulthood, with their pride and sense of humor intact. However, when you are caught in the grip of a crush, there is little to laugh about. “I was frustrated,” recalls one youth, “because I couldn’t do anything about it. I knew she was too old for me, but I liked her. I was really bent out of shape over the whole thing.”

The Anatomy of a Crush

It is no sin to have strong feelings for someone—provided such are not immoral or improper (such as for someone married). (Proverbs 5:15-18) When you are young, though, “desires incidental to youth” often rule your thoughts and actions. (2 Timothy 2:22) Still learning to control the new and potent desires unleashed by puberty, a youth can be full of whipped-up romantic feelings—and have no one to lavish them on.

Furthermore, “girls become poised and socially at ease at an earlier age than boys.” As a result, “they often find their male classmates immature and unexciting compared to teachers” or other older, unattainable men. (Seventeen magazine) A girl might thus imagine that a favorite teacher, pop singer, or some older acquaintance is the “ideal” man. Boys often become similarly infatuated. However, the love felt for such distant figures is obviously rooted more in fantasy than reality.

Facing Reality

King Solomon, one of the wisest men who ever lived, fell desperately in love with a girl who did not return his feelings. He poured upon her some of the most beautiful poetry ever written, telling her she was “beautiful like the full moon, pure like the glowing sun”—and got absolutely nowhere with her!—Song of Solomon 6:10.

Nevertheless, Solomon eventually quit his attempts to win her over. How can you, too, regain control of your feelings? “He that is trusting in his own heart is stupid,” says the Bible. (Proverbs 28:26) This is particularly true when you are caught up in a romantic fantasy. However, “he that is walking in wisdom is the one that will escape.” This means seeing things the way they are.

“How do you tell legitimate hope from unfounded hope?” asks Dr. Howard Halpern. “By looking carefully and coldly at the facts.” Consider: How much of a chance is there of a real romance developing with this person? If the person is a celebrity, the odds are you will never even meet this person! Your chances are equally dim when some older person, such as a teacher, is involved.

Furthermore, has the person you like thus far shown any interest in you at all? If not, is there any real reason to believe that things will change in the future? Or are you simply reading romantic interest into innocent words and actions on his or her part? Incidentally, in most lands it is customary for men to take the initiative in romance. A young girl can humiliate herself by aggressively pursuing someone who simply is not interested.

Besides, what would you do if the person actually returned your affections? Are you ready for the responsibilities of marriage? If not, then “remove vexation from your heart” by refusing to dwell on fantasy. There is “a time to love,” and that might be years later when you are older.—Ecclesiastes 3:8; 11:10.

Analyzing Your Feelings

Dr. Charles Zastrow observes: “Infatuation occurs when a person idealizes the person she or he is infatuated with as being a ‘perfect lover’; that is, concludes that the other person has all of the characteristics desired in a mate.” However, no such “perfect lover” exists. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” says the Bible.—Romans 3:23.

So ask yourself: How well do I really know this person I have set my heart on? Am I in love with an image? Am I blinding myself to this person’s flaws? One objective look at your dream lover may be enough to pull you out of your romantic stupor! It is also helpful to analyze the kind of love you feel for this person. Says writer Kathy McCoy: “Immature love can come and go in a moment . . . The focus is on you, and you’re simply in love with the idea of being in love . . . Immature love is clinging, possessive, and jealous. . . . Immature love demands perfection.”—Contrast 1 Corinthians 13:4, 5.

Getting Him or Her Off Your Mind

Admittedly, all the reasoning in the world does not entirely erase how you feel. But you can avoid feeding the problem. Reading steamy romance novels, watching TV love stories, or just listening to certain kinds of music can worsen your feelings of loneliness. So refuse to dwell on the situation. “Where there is no wood the fire goes out.”—Proverbs 26:20.

A fantasy romance is no substitute for people who really love you and care for you. Do not ‘isolate yourself.’ (Proverbs 18:1) You’ll probably find that your parents can be quite helpful. For all your attempts to conceal your feelings, they have probably already discerned that something is eating away at you. Why not approach them and give your heart to them? (Compare Proverbs 23:26.) A mature Christian may also prove to have a good listening ear.

“Keep busy,” exhorts teen writer Esther Davidowitz. Take up a hobby, do some exercise, study a language, begin a Bible research project. Staying engrossed in useful activities can ease the withdrawal symptoms quite a bit.

Getting over a crush is not easy. But with the passage of time, the pain will subside. You will have learned much about yourself and your feelings, and you will be better prepared to deal with real love should it come in the future! But how will you be able to recognize ‘real love’?

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If you figure it out, let me know

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Very hard to argue against that SaratogoGirl!

You could also look at their picture every single day to remind yourself that you are over them.

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