Tell him to go back to France where he belongs. If he resists, explain patiently to him that jumping down your throat is not equivalent to standing up and defending Paris like a man.
Take a teaspoon of honey or make warm/hot tea with honey in it. That usually works for me :)
Tell him to go courtin'.
Get a couple of real lemons, then slice them up and eat them. Salt will make the lemon actually be a bit sweet tasting. Old folks remedies do work.
Gargle with warm salt water. Loosen your mucus by taking a long hot shower. Stop using inhaled steroids for your asthma for a few days or cut back. Try to stay indoors until it gets better.
Are you spawning for something! :)
Tie a fly to a piece of thread and fish
Send in the toads.