ask her .... ? wouldnt that be how you would start, say i want to have sex with other people , be tactful but see what her reaction is
Before you even think about bringing this idea up to your wife, make sure you fully understand your own motivation and feelings in this regard. Do you want to do this because your marriage is boring, sex life is boring or inadequate, or what? You can bet your wife is likely to ask you these questions and you better not only have answers but know how to best answer her questions. Additionally, you better make sure you understand your own feelings well.
Many guys initiate swinging, open marriage, etc. only to learn that they cannot live with the results and want to stop -- Sorry Charley, too late. How are you going to react to seeing your wife suck off another man, pull a train or gang bang, eat *****, get Double penetrated? How are you going to feel getting sloppy seconds, eating a cream pie, etc.? Carefully examine your motivation and feelings and formulate your answers before you bring it up to your wife.
As already pointed out, there are different ways to bring this up. One approach is to get a magazine like Penthouse Forum or Penthouse Variations and read stories out loud, then talk about how each of you feels about the story. Does it turn you on, does it turn her on? What about the story is exciting, what is a turn-off? If you wife is at all open to watching **** videos, consider getting some on a variety of subjects, including swinging, then see how she reacts and responds to the videos. Talk about them afterward and ask her what got her hot and what did not.
The other approach is more direct. Tell your wife that you want to spice up your sex life and that you want to have a serious discussion about both of your Needs, Wants, and Fears. Explain to her that Needs are things that a person feels they MUST HAVE to find happiness in a relationship. Needs often include such basics as food, a house, a car, but may also include things like a monogamous spouse, observant religious practices, children, etc. Wants are things that each of you would like to have. Wants range from almost needs to passing like-to-haves. You may want sex every day and she may want it every other week. You may want to swing and she may want to experiment with Dominance/submission or Bondage and Discipline. The idea about wants is that wants are negotiable. I will do this if you do that, I will give up this in order to get something in return. I will do this for you if you do that for me. You are likely to be really surprised, if she is open and honest, with some of what your wife's wants (fantasies) are. Then its a matter of negotiating and trading. Just be ready to try something not high on your list to get what you want. She may even want to see you suck another guy off -- how badly do you want to swing?
UPDATE - Dear southernheat. If you saw my initial response to the question, note I suggested he examine his motivations first. Not all people who want to swing necessarily are seeking sex with other people. There are other motivatio
Depends on how long you've been married. If you've been married 20 years and the topic has never come up before, you may want to take it very, very slowly. Maybe let her find you looking at swinger sites online and act like you just ran across it or something and like you find it interesting but not THAT interesting. But then DROP IT. Don't even mention it for at least a month. You have to find out how she feels about it before you ask her. Finding out how she feels about this may take you a LOOONG time. Like a year. Your best tool for success is going to be PATIENCE. But since you've been married a while this shouldn't be a problem.
If you haven't been married for long, or if your wife is young you may want to take a quicker approach. Like just come out and ask. Be aware that she isn't going to like this new you. BUT younger girls are more open to this sort of thing and she will get over being mad (hopefully). Again, patience is your friend. If she gets mad, drop it for a long time. And don't get mad back. This is weird to her. Bring it up again one night when you guys are out drinking or something. Of course this may backfire and you need to be prepared for that. IF you ever get her to agree to "just trying it once" be preparred to retrieve her from her mother's house or listen to her cry all night.
Keep in mind, some ladies just aren't into it. If you get your heart set on being a swinger and she isn't going to do it, or she backs out suddenly, are you prepared for the consequences? You may be putting your marriage on the line here for something that may not be the paradise you think it is.
It's easy......just go out and buy the swing...install it in your backyard.....then call her and say: Honey?...come out into the back and let's swing together.....I'm pretty sure she will love love love it....I know I do......