Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device
This is probably a weird question but I just can't make eye contact with people and it gets really uncomfortable when people are talking to me (especially when they talk a lot) because I can make eye contact for about 1 second or 2 before I have to look away, so I'm guessing it looks really strange on their part and probably think I'm not interested even though I am. I've tried forcing myself to make eye contact but I begin to feel very uncomfortable and my brain keeps telling me to look away. The weird thing is, I can't even make eye contact with family for longer than a few seconds, and I'm comfortable around them.
KnightOfJustice KnightOfJustice 18-21, M 9 Answers Nov 27, 2012 in Health

Your Response

Cancel

try looking at the bridge of their nose, that might not make you as nervous as look straight into there eyes

Best Answer

That doesn't work.

Best Answer

Not for me, I've tried it... Makes me feel even more uncomfortable.

Best Answer

I go through the same thing everyday. Only difference is that I don't care if it looks weird! It just freaks me out to look into people's eyes. :S<br />
<br />
Apparently, there's a trick you could try: look at people's noses when you talk to them. It looks like eye contact and only you will know that it actually isn't!

Best Answer

I try that, but that makes me feel more uncomfortable.

Best Answer

Then maybe you should go see a psychologist or counsellor if it really becomes a problem in your interactions with others. CBT might do the trick...

Best Answer

Man, my problems keep bringing back to CBT... In order to do that I would have to tell my parents, and that is way too embarrassing.

Best Answer

What is CBT?

Best Answer

@KnighOfJustice: then maybe you really need it! Never mind getting embarrassed- what's worse? Getting embarrassed about your family knowing about your issues or having to put up with these issues- possibly for a long long time? You are apparently still 16-17 or whatever, so think about job prospects if social interactions are a difficulty for you.
@AvalonWeiss: wiki it. It stands for 'Cognitive Behavioral Therapy'.

Best Answer

In my mind embarrassment is the worst possible thing that could happen, even though I'm aware that it isn't. I don't take it as well as most do, and I've gone to great lengths to prevent it...

Best Answer

I understand because I have clinical anxiety and it looks like you may have it too. Look at embarrassment from a hierarchical perspective. What's worse: getting embarrassed in front of family, or getting embarrassed in front of future partners/potential future employer(s) and co-workers? I didn't get therapy until last year and I really really regret putting it off because of embarrassment. I'm 27 and I'm still at uni mainly because of the whole embarrassment issue! You need to prioritize.

Best Answer

Family of course, I intend to find a job that requires the most minimal social interactions with other people... Yeah I most likely have social anxiety disorder. Right now I have been going through very serious health issues for over 6 years now, and I have to remain strong in order to keep going through, and I must have others think that I am strong too... Telling them this would show them just how strong I am not, sometimes I think my family is suffering more from my health issues than I am. I can't add to the pile of health issues that they already work so hard to help me with. It would be unfair. That is why I have been looking for quite awhile now for ways to get over these problems without their knowing. I have had no success thus far...

Best Answer

It sucks that you are letting your anxiety rule your choice of occupation though. Something like being an accountant would suit me better instead of becoming a speech therapist, but I refuse to give up on my preferred job. That aside, you could maybe wait until you get the kind of job you are comfortable with and then pay for your own therapy and not tell your family?

Best Answer

Well my other health issues kind of prevent me from doing a lot of other stuff career wise.. I don't really care for money though, as long as I can make enough to support me and my hobbies then I'm fine. I will probably do just that, would make it easier since I turn 18 in June and hopefully can find a college with dorms. Still can't find a job though, my options are limited since they all involve a ton of social interaction... And it does suck but there is nothing I can do right now I guess. But before I get a job I need my license... Which I'm too scared to get because I'm very afraid of even the thought of driving. I suppose I'm kind of an under-achiever.

Best Answer

I know I've said it about a million times, but you would really benefit from therapy. You sound exactly like me. :S
I wouldn't say I'm an underachiever myself- you're probably not giving yourself enough credit for the things you do RIGHT. Anyway, good luck with everything. I hope you will be able to get the help you need a.s.a.p.

Best Answer

It's hard to do anything right when you don't really do anything to begin with, hehe. Thank you, I'm sure I'll be able to come up with a plan.

Best Answer
9 More Responses

You have to practice and you have to experience the entire face when you look at them not just their eyes.

Best Answer

Why not ask your family physician? Maybe he can refer you to someone you can talk to about this. For me it was just a learned behavior. find it's easiest when I'm relaxed with someone else and we're having a good conversation. Making eye-contact doesn't mean anything, you know? No one will feel threatened by you or take offense. If they do the problem is their own, not your's. I hope some of that is helpful for you.

Best Answer

I'm not to worried about what they think, it's just the way I feel and why I can't do it to begin with.

Best Answer

I completely understand you. I cannot make eye contact either. Even if I know someone well, it will be as you said, 1 to 2 seconds before I must look away, and if I don't know someone then I cannot make eye contact. If I go to a store, I look away and make eye contact with no one. It just feels weird and I am way to nervous.

Best Answer

practice with a mirror- try making eye contact with yourself

Best Answer

I'm weird, I talk to myself a lot in the mirror. Making eye contact with myself is easy, I don't know why.

Best Answer

Related Questions