when baby was born he seemed to be doing great.. but family was around and he was putting on a face. then a week after being home he freaked out on my dads alcoholic fiance because she told him to pull his pants up.. he was screaming and my dad screamed at him and they were both acting like they were gonna fight but they didnt. they did not care that my son was hearing everything. and since he has been short tempered and freaking out on me.. then about two weeks later.. he was screaming at me because i was "b i t c h i n g " about not getting help.. i was expected 2 do everything including clean up after him belligerently messing up everything i clean. i couldnt take the screaming anymore so i walked out and started beating my kitchen cabinets. so he came and flung me in to my counter a few times. and then dropped me 2 the floor because i tried 2 hit him. a few days ago we were screaming again and because i screamed he threw me in2 my wall leaving a big dent from my head. theres more
anonymousgirlxo anonymousgirlxo 18-21, F 15 Answers Aug 28, 2012 in Struggles

Your Response


Take your baby and go to a woman's shelter. Most cities have them. If you have a hole in the wall and bruises, you have proof. If there is no woman's shelter locally, go to a hospital emergency room. They will document it for you and contact the authorities. They are well trained and know what to look for. Take your baby everywhere.

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Additionally, pay the $10 to file a restraining order - you don't need proof of previous abuse to get one. It won't protect you if he comes after you, but it will allow the police to take more aggressive action against him if he does come after you.

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I am not well versed on that, as I have never had one for or against me, but it sounds like good advice for her. :D

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Yup, you show up with evidence he hit you, then he ain't getting custody. He could kill the baby if he hit the baby like he hit you-and that's why.
Press charges, hon, the law doesn't like a woman-beater either.

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walk out.. ffs..

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You need to go, asap. Believe me when i tell you it will only get worse from here. The police are no real help, unless they actually catch him abusing you, been there, done that. You need to check your temper as well, for the well being of your baby because it will only come back and bite you in the a$$.

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Start making a plan, you need to get you and your son out of there ASAP. This man could kill your son if he loses his **** on him. And babies cry, a lot. You don't need proof you need somewhere to stay. Start calling abuse hotlines. Ask for help. Save money, gather whatever you can. Call relatives that would help you. Know the numbers for shelters.

Once you get somewhere safe, then you can work out custody and all that.

You're a mom now. Your first job is to protect your newborn.

Get out.

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If you want to leave, leave. That's not likely to make you lose the baby. Just take him and yourself to a shelter or your parent's. If you guys are just having some problems, I suggest family counseling. I can't tell from your statement who really got violent fist. But, to me, it seems both of you are not coping with the new increased stress of being parents to a newborn well. You should look for some organizations that offer courses to new parents, they can teach really helpful skills.

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Umm take self and baby , find shelter for ladies and baby. If they can't find you they can't serve orders on you, get child care and job and dissapear , oh and this can work , been through it all before

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you dont need proof, just leave, you should put the safety of your child above anything now x

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For many women & their child/children, it is just not that easy to just walk out the door. There are also women who are forced to stay with the abuser at all times and when you have leave somewhere the abuser has the child. Some women are forced into illegal services by their abuser while the child is with the abuser. Police will do no good. They will not help and the abuser will only harm you even more!

You can't hide anything to prepare to leave because he controls everything.

So how does a single desperate women leave safely with her child?

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Read what I have said.

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not sure if this is answering your question but put a pfa on him and ask to keep ur daughter as well..most likely the judge will approve it..not saying he will but the chances are good! that way u dont lose ur child to him..not sure if thats wat you meant by losing ur child? alwayz a womens shelter as well...i never had much proof when i put a pfa on my daughters dad..but wat i told them was true..some ppl go in the court house and lie and put a pfa on the man so they can get their child..its only temporary till you go to court for the pfa oder and the judge culd grant you a whole year of a pfa on him away from u and ur baby..not sure if that answers ur question like i said..jus thought i share my experience...

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You don't need proof, just sue for custody and leave his ***.

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It is in her best interests to have it documented... and getting that head scanned for hitting wall should do it. Complain much, complain often. (at the hospital.)

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Find a lawyer immediately. They will give consultations for free. While you are at it call the local community services board. There is help available, but only if you actually ask for it from the people who deal with these kinds of problems routinely. They can literally have the cops drag the guy off in handcuffs without any proof whatsoever and slap a restraining order on him.

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I think you should get proof somehow. Place a camera or something to show the next time he hits you. Give it to the police. Leaving without warning is serious business and a lot of the time ends up in even more abuse.

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DON'T wait around for it to happen again. Go to the hospital NOW and report head injury, tell themyour head hurts and get it scanned. (there may or may not be one now, but you need it documented he is capable of that level of abuse.)

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That would probably be better than my idea. :P

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