My son was doing this too wanted new shoes every month, so I took all his electronics away n took him to our local wish closet (free stuff for the needy) an dropped all the cloths he thought was uncool off there n let him pick his new shoes from there. Now he does house work to keep his electronics an understands how lucky he is when we buy him nice things. If he complains I take him back to the wish closet n we trade stuff we have for what he needs. (n none of it is new)
Kids rarely understand how lucky they are. What happens is that they become adults, shoulder all that responsibility, and then realize how lucky they were.
I sent my young'n to Mexico. I know that wouldn't be a good idea now that things down there are out of control with the drug wars and such. But she went down and stayed with a host family. She couldn't put her toilet paper down the toilet. There were no McDonalds on the corner, and clothes could be bought but there wasn't alot of money out there. Her hosts introduced her to people not as "well off" as them and it really hit home to her.....so she said.
I am a teen, and trust me, this is a VERY hard subject. Us teens don't really know what we want, except that we want new, and in the loop things. thats not saying you need to buy your kids stuff, but keep things like that in mind. try to be as involved as you can in their lives when growing up, and trust me, youll make a connection that will last a life time.
The more I had to do for myself, the more I appreciated what others had done for me. Then when I was in the Army, I learned to appreciate everything about the freedom of civilian life that we have. I have never forgotten that. It's a process.
Stop buying them stuff - make them do chores - and pay them ----- Hey why are you drinking my milk -- You got milk money go get your own ---|||| Oh it's like that now is it ||| --- yep
Don't give a lecture, she probably won't listen, kids never do. I'd take all the clothes back and tell her that until she earns half of the cost, she can't have them. Then have her do chores like laundry or mopping to earn the money.