Every time I try to date, I only go on one date with someone, and then I never see them again. I just blow them off...I want a relationship, but at the same time, I don't want to fool with them...So how do I get past all that and get in a normal relationship again?
freedomlovingypsy freedomlovingypsy 31-35, F 9 Answers May 17, 2009

Your Response


There's a reason you don't trust....something happen when you were a kid? Grow up in dysfunctional surroundings? See one of your parents betray the other?

First thing I would do, is go to counseling....find out the root of it all....then, you will be able to see people individually, and learn to trust them, unless they give you are good reason not to....

Best Answer

I'm asking the same question.

Best Answer

I want to know the same thing. I can't trust anyone, I can't trust myself. But I will trust someone else before I trust myself.

I don't know why I don't trust people. I feel like I am so naive that things will happen right in front of me and that I won't notice. It's happened before. And I felt dumb for it. I guess I am afraid of feeling dumb. And it's not an issue of self confidence. Because even if I don't feel dumb, I still feel like someone will do something to me.

I just don't feel like people include me, so then they want to keep secrets from me. It's silly. But it's happened before. You can't make yourself trust anyone. But the only answer I can think of... Is just let your guard down, and try to just trust them. Realize that you'll move on if that person does something to betray your trust. Just take the risk.

But that's something else you'll have to learn to do.

Best Answer

I think trust has to be earned!

They want the trust, they have to put in the work.

Trusting someone on blind faith is a stupid thing to do.

Best Answer

I agree with unicorn - it may not be the most fun or easy answer - but I think it will by far be the most fruitful one!

Couple extra thoughts....

- There's no such thing as a completely 'normal' relationship - everybody has some amount of baggage - I always figure my best bet is to stick to dating the people who know they have baggage and are actively dealing with it

- Maybe you can also build a bit of a guide - with the help of some healthy people- of How someone can PROVE they are trustworthy? There are small steps people take that teach people they can trust each other - I'm not talking about games or tests - I juust mean, learn to understand what being trustworthy LOOKS like, how a trustworthy person ACTS, etc.

- Also - youneverknow may be right - maybe you haven't dated a good person for you, yet? A common exercise is to define what you are looking for in a relationship....being a bit clearer about what you like will help to attract those people.

But, again, I agree w unicorn - looking into one self for the root of any issue is usually the best way to resolve something.

Good luck, hun! Hugs!! ; )

Best Answer

Related Questions