I am a 20 year old student who has an active social life but never seems to meet any nice single guys, they all seem to either be in a relationship. It is starting to really get me down and my two flat mates are in the same situation. Ways to approach young guys, conversation starters, tips all welcome!! Help us!
molly2010 molly2010 18-21 12 Answers Sep 29, 2010

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Try meeting me.

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When I was 20 I could not meet anyone either. It was not until hit middle age that I finally figured out that what I was doing wrong was looking at guys as dating material instead of people.

I dont know if you do this or not - just relating my personal experience.

But in any case that is the best advice I have - relate to guys as people, and that means allowing yourself to talk to guys that dont seem to fit your idea of a "your type".

Just keep reaching out to the humans inside the gorgeous body and the fabulous smile.

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Will definately try this as it is way easier to talk to guys who I know will only ever be a friend. Maybe not focusing on the dating aspect will help me relax a bit :-)


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Hey, I'm 24 right now and I had the same problem when I was 20. Guys didn't start approaching me until around 22-24. If you want to meet more guys, go out to parties hosted by your good friends. They are your best source of guys, since they probably share your interests, and their friends share their interests, etc.

This will not happen overnight (obv). Approach new friends at school, (at seminars, school clubs, internships, campus jobs, etc.). I feel these places are where I met most of the guys I've dated over the last few years. Facebook is not the way to go for starting friendships. Face to face is much better. As far as pick up lines go, the best one is "Hi." Guys are straightforward. And don't get discouraged if you don't find a bf right away. It's been a roller coaster for me these past few years, but I think I'm finally getting somewhere haha. (Try for guys 2-3 years older, too.)

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You're too young to be "in a relationship", but if you insist, it's very simple- look for an older (not old) guy. Guys your age are simply not marture enough to be looking for that unless they are needy or damaged (usually, though there are RARE exceptions). You really don't need to be thinking about settling down yet, but when you do, look for someone stable- emotionally, legally and financially, and someone who wants the same things out of life that you do. I see so many girls who just want to have "a boyfriend". Well, take a good look around at the ones who do. Most of them are secretly, or publicly MISERABLE, and their lives are completely full of drama. Sweetie, by not having one yet, you've dodged a BULLET!

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Kimmygary, congrats for the most stupid 'answer' of the week. My apologies.

Molly, if it's going on for 2 years without a single date in a college environment, then something is clearly not right. Are you an introvert? Or the opposite, are you very loud? Do you go to parties, events, giving guys a chance?.. Do apply some makeup, attend events, parties, book fairs, whatever, smile at guys, the rest should come. Good luck.

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Goodness. Times have changed, I guess.

I used to meet guys everywhere. I went to an all female college my first year, and before the end of it, I was engaged to a man at another college. I met my first fiance' by going to rush at a fraternity. It was a Christian frat, so they were all "nice" guys. It was very easy to meet young men there, and they had parties and cookouts that were fun and "clean". After a while they made me a "little sister", and then we went on little trips or had dinners, etc. I never had to worry about having a date for these things because the brothers always made sure all of the little sisters were escorted. It was a great dynamic for feeling safe and meeting men. Maybe you could find a similar type of fraternity where you are. There are all types- from the heavy partiers to the clean living types. At least there used to be. I AM much older than you are.

Also, I used to meet people who were involved in volunteer work. I did reading for the blind for a while. Worked at the Humane Society. Met some people that way. Had another boyfriend because we ended up working together.

I don't know if I can be much help. I think times have changed somewhat. Once upon a time you could go to a bar of a certain type and meet some nice guys.

Maybe what is afflicting me is affecting young people now too?

I hope not. I think you will meet someone. He will see you and then just ask you out. Just make yourself visible.

All my best.

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I have the same problem but I am male, and it really doesn't help that classes for my major are usually about 90% male either. Either way, what golightly said seems pretty reasonable.

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Same problem! All my classes are around 90% female!

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