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I don't like being with them, and I find it very rude that they would just want to come over to get free food and drinks so they don't have to cook. Wow, some people are really shocking. I would never do that to someone. My Dad just died and we need time to grieve and remember the memories, and they have been rude to us in the past.
Carrie7 Carrie7 51-55, F 15 Answers Nov 16, 2012 in Family Struggles

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I am not sure....here is an idea if you decide to allow them to come.<br />
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Tell them they can come if they each bring a dish you need fixed, that way it will save you time cooking and cleaning since they will take the dish with them. They may decline after hearing they aren't off the hook from cooking and they have to contribute.<br />
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lol

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Great idea ! LOL.... the main reason I don't want to see them is that my Dad just died, and it's the first holidays without him, we need time to grieve and remember the memories, and they are not close family. but thanks for the laugh ! :)

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I hear you, the holidays can be difficult especially when you have difficult family members! It must be worse during such a tender time. I am thankful that I made you laugh! I pray your Thanksgiving brings healing and more laughter! Blessings, my new friend. :D

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tell them you have limited space because you are expecting INVITED guests.<br />
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....see how they groove to that

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find someone you dont' like who is having thanksgiving and tell your unwanted guests that person's address and say that is where you are spending thanksgiving.<br />
or follow onewithjc's advice.

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Say, "oh, I'm so sorry, I have other plans" (meaning, plans with someone who isn't you).<br />
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Then say, "Maybe we can get together another time?" <br />
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If they press you say, "Listen, I didn't plan on having people over. I won't be hosting any sort of dinner here FOR YOU."

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Not all of our 'family of origin' earns the right to be part of our chosen 'adult family'. <br />
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If you don't like being with them, you shouldn't have to be with them. Tell them, with polite detachment, just what you told us. If they hate you for it, what have you lost? They'll mooch off someone else.

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I guess first off how did they think they were naturally invited ... have they spent previous Thanksgivings or other holidays with you? Do they know you don't like being with them or are you cordial whenever you are together? Short of being blunt with them and tell them they are not invited to your house for Thanksgiving ... you might not be unable to ring that bell this year ... but next year make it plain to them in some matter ahead of time that this Thanksgiving Day your plans are specific and that they are not part of them.

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No need to be tactful. Say it like it is. Always the best way... say it once and you won't have to be tactful ever again.

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Say NO exactly how you said it here.. It's that easy.

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Suggest a different time they visit, and apologize that your guest list is already full.

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Perhaps they're lonely? I have spent the last three Thanksgivings alone as well as Christmas. That's a horrible feeling. Maybe they're changed, humbled? Something to think about...

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Lol. I can't repeat what I would say here.

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but thanksgiving is about family i mean you cant that prude

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Just tell them there are too many people coming over as it is

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