How can I stop my bf's crazy mom from undermining our relationship & driving us insane with her selfishness?
my bf's mom is overbearing, she calls like 9 times a day, & wants him with her all the time, she doesn't like me anymore, even though she was the one who set us up sort of, she is manipulative, money obsessed, & only thinks of herself. she doesn't care about how her son feels as long as she gets what she wants. & lately she's been saying things to him that make me think she doesn't want me around anymore so she can have him to herself, I served my purpose & now it's time to get rid of me, you see. he moved to my town to be with me, & she lives here too. I think that's why she put us in contact, hoping it would get him here. her life partner just died, she was going to leave him but then he got sick & she stayed to get a inheritance, but now he's gone & she has tons of free time & is using it all to bug us, she uses the guilt card saying she's lonely & grieving, but she could care less, she only cries when she is around people for attention! how can I get her to stop doing this?
9 Answers to "How can I stop my bf's crazy mom from undermining our relationship & driving us insane with her selfishness?"
Posted by pookiem Aug 2nd, 2011 at 12:36AM
I'm sorry, I don't have any answers for you nor any suggestions that haven't already been said. I do, however, send you my deepest sympathy. I do know what it is like to try & deal with a person who is determined to have it their way. Perhaps try a bit of reverse psychology on her. Start smothering her with attention, not a minutes peace. Stay in her face consistently and always agree with everything she says. Some people do these kind of things for attention. That's really all I have.
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Reply by Lithriel Aug 2nd, 2011 at 3:00PM
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Posted by Brainyblonde Aug 1st, 2011 at 6:03PM
This is not your job, Anything that needs to be done to set boundaries with his mother is your boyfriend's job. There is, I am sorry to say, nothing you can do that will make any difference.
There is a rule for this kind of situation: Any time anyone connected with your lover treats you badly or does things to make your relationship difficult, it is exactly the same as if your lover did it. He is responsible. After all, if he did not allow it, it would not be happening. And, while we're at it, how did you come to find out she has been saying things about you that show she doesn't want you around anymore? I am assuming he told you--why would he do that if he wanted a happy, peaceful relationship with you? Why would he tell you something that makes you feel less secure? Either he is telling you this as a hint that he agrees with his mother but is using her as his excuse to end the relationship, or he is telling you this to vent his own feelings of frustration. He should not be telling you any of this. He should be telling his mother.
If it were me, I would give her a period of time to mourn (a week? a month?) and then draw the line at her over-involvement in your life. Tell your boyfriend that if he wants to be involved with her, he will have to do it himself, without you, at her house. Expect him to choose her over you. In a way, he already has.
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Reply by Lithriel Aug 1st, 2011 at 10:53PM
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Posted by moonshadegold Aug 1st, 2011 at 4:38PM
Its called murder. KIDDING! I swear! No, first thing is sit down and have a talk with the bf. Then once everybody is calm you and him have a sit down with the mother and explain the problem and your feelings clearly. Try to find a solution that works for all parties involved. However, at the end of the day duct tape and a chair works too. Kidding again!
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Reply by Lithriel Aug 1st, 2011 at 10:54PM
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Posted by Oddandsingular Aug 1st, 2011 at 4:37PM
It's HIS responsibility to make her stop. Not yours. You will be the villianeven more than you are now if you try.
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Posted by ChocSwurl Aug 1st, 2011 at 3:41PM
Sounds like she has a co-dependency disorder. Maybe google it to double check if it matches up.
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Reply by Lithriel Aug 1st, 2011 at 10:56PM
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Posted by BamPow Aug 1st, 2011 at 3:31PM
The next time the three of you are sitting in front of the television, excuse yourself by telling them you need to run out to get a gallon of milk. Get in the car and drive in a straight line. When the car runs out of gas, get out and run. When your legs give out, crawl as far as you can. When you can no longer crawl, you have gotten as far away from the situation as you possibly can, and this is where you need to be - as far away from it as possible.
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Reply by Lithriel Aug 1st, 2011 at 10:58PM
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Posted by towhead2 Aug 1st, 2011 at 3:23PM
Just remember, if you marry him,, you're stuck with HER too, the rest of your life.
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Reply by Lithriel Aug 1st, 2011 at 11:00PM
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Posted by behemoth Aug 1st, 2011 at 3:20PM
give her some muffins
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Posted by SaintMaj Aug 1st, 2011 at 3:20PM
sit with your bf,look deep in his eyes and tell him this.He has to grow up.
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Reply by behemoth Aug 1st, 2011 at 3:22PM
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Reply by Lithriel Aug 1st, 2011 at 11:01PM
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