I'm sorry, I don't have any answers for you nor any suggestions that haven't already been said. I do, however, send you my deepest sympathy. I do know what it is like to try & deal with a person who is determined to have it their way. Perhaps try a bit of reverse psychology on her. Start smothering her with attention, not a minutes peace. Stay in her face consistently and always agree with everything she says. Some people do these kind of things for attention. That's really all I have.
This is not your job, Anything that needs to be done to set boundaries with his mother is your boyfriend's job. There is, I am sorry to say, nothing you can do that will make any difference.
There is a rule for this kind of situation: Any time anyone connected with your lover treats you badly or does things to make your relationship difficult, it is exactly the same as if your lover did it. He is responsible. After all, if he did not allow it, it would not be happening. And, while we're at it, how did you come to find out she has been saying things about you that show she doesn't want you around anymore? I am assuming he told you--why would he do that if he wanted a happy, peaceful relationship with you? Why would he tell you something that makes you feel less secure? Either he is telling you this as a hint that he agrees with his mother but is using her as his excuse to end the relationship, or he is telling you this to vent his own feelings of frustration. He should not be telling you any of this. He should be telling his mother.
If it were me, I would give her a period of time to mourn (a week? a month?) and then draw the line at her over-involvement in your life. Tell your boyfriend that if he wants to be involved with her, he will have to do it himself, without you, at her house. Expect him to choose her over you. In a way, he already has.
Its called murder. KIDDING! I swear! No, first thing is sit down and have a talk with the bf. Then once everybody is calm you and him have a sit down with the mother and explain the problem and your feelings clearly. Try to find a solution that works for all parties involved. However, at the end of the day duct tape and a chair works too. Kidding again!
It's HIS responsibility to make her stop. Not yours. You will be the villianeven more than you are now if you try.
Sounds like she has a co-dependency disorder. Maybe google it to double check if it matches up.
Just remember, if you marry him,, you're stuck with HER too, the rest of your life.
give her some muffins
sit with your bf,look deep in his eyes and tell him this.He has to grow up.
then he would have to call me .