How can I tell my friend that I have Asperger Syndrome (a form of autism)?
I'm a paranoid person. I have hardly any friends, and my first attempts led me to being back-stabbed by people who pretended to be my friend only to hurt me. Well, I met this guy a few weeks ago, and I learnt a few things about him, mostly about him getting into fights and the way he works out constantly to be stronger than everybody else. I asked him if he thinks he's superior to everyone and he said he was physically. I told him how I could trust him and that he's the type of guy I'd expect to see in a prison. I said ''what if someone is rude to you? You beat them up? That isn't right.'' Well he ended up explaining why he beat those people up (because they attacked him first). I was against that at first, because I was raised to not retaliate. Anyway I told him I'm really sorry if that just sounded inappropriate and he said 'Nah it's cool.' I said I'll trust him and he said he won't be like those 'friends' that I had. I sent him a message on facebook asking if he'd like to hang out sometime. He said 'oh so youve gone from not trusting me to wanting to hang out lol'. I had a conversation after that about films. He's 18 years old and I'm wondering if I've damaged anything...I have Asperger Syndrome (he doesn't know) and it makes me say some impulsive stuff that I only recognize as inappropriate later onwards.
I'm wondering if I damaged the friendship at all, or if things are cool. hes not good with medical stuff..so he's likely to be clueless what autism is.
11 Answers to "How can I tell my friend that I have Asperger Syndrome (a form of autism)?"
Posted by Extentialist Dec 18th, 2012 at 10:29AM
We (all) have one kind of emotional disorder whether we admit it or not. The point is we can live with it even if someone else can't. Believe it or not Autisum leads to the genuis caterory. I for one envy you because my iq is ninety. Want to swap? Even you friend has a emotional (fight/anger) problem. You are even one up on him and all those who are scared of you because you are different because they believe there own fear about those who are different.
You understand you are a great person and have much to give too others who's ignorance through fear has overtaken them. Keep up the great work you are thinking and doing. Extentialist.
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Posted by paskyno Dec 17th, 2012 at 7:32PM
Perhaps he actually appreciates your willingness to be completely honest and straightforward with him where others would have held back. One of the nice things about Asperger's is that "social brakes" might be lacking and people can be totally blunt. Sometimes that can get them into trouble, but honest communication is so rare that some people really appreciate it.
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Posted by Sleeplessinla Dec 17th, 2012 at 7:27PM
for what possible reason considering how people are so biased to mental illness?
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Posted by inChange Dec 17th, 2012 at 7:19PM
I know what you mean. All you can do is tell him if it does not work out that is something that you deal with there are some out there who will be real it just takes a lot of effort to find them..I know that is frustrating but with time you can learn to deal with it! i say that from experience!
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Posted by gargamel68 Dec 17th, 2012 at 7:05PM
Number one, you don't tell someone that you just met anything. At this point in time its none of their business. Not trusting someone as soon as you meet them is very smart and will serve you well as you get older ( calling yourself 'paranoid' isn't called for ), to follow your logic I'm 'paranoid' since I trust basicly no-one. If he's in fight's a lot, I would seriously doubt some one else starts them all the time, he sounds like a braggert who runs his mouth a lot. It's alright though, he'll run it to the wrong person one day soon. When he does, he will learn just how 'superior' he is. If he wants to be a friend, let him. As to your trust, I'd wait on that. Trust should not be lightly given away, it should be earned. Let him earn it.
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Reply by gargamel68 Dec 18th, 2012 at 1:53PM
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Posted by DisorderlyCyn Dec 17th, 2012 at 6:58PM
I would definitely tell him. It will help if you say anything else inappropriate. He'll understand you. And I think MOST people with normal intelligence will understand if you explain it clearly. My little girl has autism and it's so mild sometimes people forget, and then she gets stuck repeating words or gets overstimulated and melts down. It helps that all her friends, teachers, and friends' parents know, otherwise they'd probably be impatient or even ugly to her.
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Posted by honestandyoung22 Dec 17th, 2012 at 6:50PM
To save heartache what works best for me is to be outright honest from the very beginning, leaving no stone unturned. It isn't confidential information, I tell it...
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Posted by nadine17 Dec 17th, 2012 at 6:42PM
No I don't think you have ruined your friendship, judging on your up-bringing it's bound to be your first reaction. I'm sure he was just kidding what he said in the message. If he does make you say impulsive things, if you really do trust him I would tell him about your autism. First, I would see if I really trust him. You've learned the hard way about back stabbers so keep your eyes and ears open. If you do trust him, tell him, ask him to google it if it doesn't make sense :) He'll have a better understanding of you then :)
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Posted by GawdsGirl Dec 17th, 2012 at 6:37PM
Seriously, I don't think he has what it takes to understand what Asperger Syndrome is. I have a very close friend who has it and they are often misunderstood and called weird. Very sad how some people react. From the sounds of that kid, he sounds like he won't be a very good friend... sorry... it's a bummer
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Posted by ikattarri Dec 17th, 2012 at 6:34PM
I think you should tell people if you want. I personally think it is none of their business.
source:
Mom to a son almost middle schol age with Autism
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Posted by WizGeezer Dec 17th, 2012 at 6:32PM
Kick them in the balls. They'll understand.
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Reply by Rigenn Dec 17th, 2012 at 6:34PM
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