How can I trust my husband from not using drugs. Who should I believe? I dont want him to go to AAA.
He was 5 years off drugs and he used to go everyday to meetings and he stopped them 3 months before we met. He was perfectly fine no drugs, very healthy etc. and after 2 years of relationship we got married ( 6 months ago) but 1 month ago he got a huge project ( he is a contractor) and he said he got very stressed that he tried once and he felt so guilty and he stopped right away and told me next morning. I of course felt terrible, confused, mad, everything was a disaster but I decide I was on his side and I was going to trust him he wont do it again.now 3 days ago his mother invited us to her beach house and we spent the night there etc.since he finished that huge job he is being slow he is always sleepy.and the mother noticed that.Now I got a called from her telling me she is 110 % sure He is using drugs again and I asked him and he said nO!was just that one time and thats it. / she also said she found a cap of a needle on the restroom but I know that was from a old needle I trashed.
8 Answers to "How can I trust my husband from not using drugs. Who should I believe? I dont want him to go to AAA."
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honest answer...look for meetings and 'The Small Book' by Jack Trimpey. ba
sed on Karl Ellis' Rational Emotive Therapy'. I got 21 years October 'cause of the man. Like (2)
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Uh oh. Good luck. Why don't you want him to go to AA? If nothing else, its a proven kick start to sobriety. Don't find excuses for him, you'll do him no favor. There is no excuse.
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that is kinda odd...maybe she just isn't typing clearlyLike (1)
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he is not an alcoholic. he used percocet to get high. anyway. he used the AA meetings as a support to keep him self out of trouble . But like I said is just so very hard for me to think that I have a husband that is in addictions meetings like that is for me soo very hard to accept. Can somebody advice me?? I told him I would do anything to help him before he have to go to those meetings cuz I seriously dont see any positive thing on those places besides like I said before they dont help the people to make them independent and strong on their decisions. Is a fake motivational place that as soon as u stop going you are tempted to fall again. So I hope there is an other way that I can help my husband to be a "NORMAL" person. with no needs to take drugs even when things gets hard. .... any advice ?? ( I have to say I am successful business woman and It has been hard for me to understand him cuz of the way I see things is either black or white. I wouldnt be with him if he was another person and If I didnt love him so much as I do)
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I dont think a roadside assistance plan will help him with drug use anyway
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I stopped myself from writing something similar.Like (1)
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Your a saint i kinda felt bad...lol
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First of all it's A.A. and it stands for Alcoholics Anonymous, but they'll probably tell him to go to Narcotics Anonymous and if he IS using he'll need to go back to meetings. Personally in my experience the Big Book is just as good for drugs as it is for alcoholism, because Bill was on the Belladonna treatment and drinking Laudanum at the end of his drinking career The question is, how badly does he want off drugs? How bad does he want to get straight? He's going to have to have some kind of support to get clean, and there's Narc-A-Non for you. This is for friends and spouses of drug addicts that will give you a set of spiritual tools to help you with your husband.
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well he wasnt using drugs for 6 years already but 2 weeks ago he took percocet and after that he felt so bad and he told me he was sorry etc. and he havent do it since then and he dont want to do it. so my fear is what if he do it again but this time he wont tell me or if he still doing it and lying about he stopped.... he is a great man and I understand he went threw a lot of stress and pressure but we both agree he took a wrong decision and now I dont know what to think and if I can trust him beside of what he say to me...
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First off what drugs are we talking about? Second, if you say he's using because of stress maybe find some other ways for him to relieve it. But honestly meetings don't do jack squat. If someone wants to use they're going to no matter what. That's just how it is, been there myself
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he took percocet. and Yes we talked about it and he took the wrong exit .he wasnt using drugs for 6 years already but 2 weeks ago he took percocet and after that he felt so bad and he told me he was sorry etc. and he havent do it since then and he dont want to do it. so my fear is what if he do it again but this time he wont tell me or if he still doing it and lying about he stopped.... he is a great man and I understand he went threw a lot of stress and pressure but we both agree he took a wrong decision and now I dont know what to think and if I can trust him beside of what he say to me...
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The key thing about addicts is that you can't take their behavior personally. He must love you a lot if he feels bad about it. However that doesn't mean he'll stop. But just remember this: He's not using to hurt you. Perhaps he's using for reasons other than stress. Most people use for things such as depression or anxiety. He could just be trying to run away from his feelings. But who knows other than him?
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AA stems out to help more than the addicts. There is also a division that helps the family of addicts where you can talk about things, learn about addictions and the signs. AA may not be a bad idea and prove to be quite helpful. Try calling one up for any questions you may have, it doesn't mean you have to go, just keep your options open.
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Thank You! I have been very close to that option but I guess that If we both go like you said I can learn more about it signs and keep him from doing it in the future or at least for me to know or notice if that ever happen again.
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I wish ya all the best dear!
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You cannot change him, he has to want to change. Sounds like he needs Narcotics Anonymous not AA.
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he is not proud of what he did. And he dont know how to prove that he havent been in drugs since that one time. He want to start going to meetings cuz he said that helps to still suborn but I dont like that cuz I feel like that makes people dependable and it doesnt help once you stop going there. you know what i mean? ... I am so confuse right now !! help
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honey...he can't do it on his own. He's told you as much if he has stated that he needs to attend meetings. Clearly meeting would be better than the drugs.
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Best Answer (Chosen by Voting):
Posted by jeanemae Sep 13th, 2012 at 4:39PM
I didn't read all that. I personally think it's fair to demand that known drug abusers take regular drug testing if they want to win back trust. Proving that he is staying the course would move me closer towards thinking they can be trusted again.
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Reply by cidi3922 Sep 13th, 2012 at 5:02PM
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Reply by jeanemae Sep 13th, 2012 at 5:03PM
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