How can my kid be extra luggage?

I would kick his *** to the curb so fast he wouldn't have time to pack anything. He's no gentleman and he is plainly a dog from what I have read, he will screw anything with a heartbeat that is female and human. You don't really want to get an STD do you? Because he will bring one home - it would be a real shame if it happened to be a fatal one like AIDS or gonorrhea.

I am so sorry to hear this. I am too raising my daughter as a single mom. Her father has never been in her life and I have been mom and dad for my daughter forever.
I divorced her father years ago and he has never visited her nor send her any presents and I haven´t remarried because I haven´t found the man who would be a good father´s figure in my kid´s life and for me, my daughter´s happiness comes first.
She doesn´t know the love of a father, she doesn´t have a father figure to rely on, if I am marrying again it would have to be to a man that represents a positive change in her life.
I want my daughter to be loved and respected and cherished. She will understand her step father is not her bio dad but that he is a person who looks out for her and always want the best for her. I haven´t found that so I am still single.

Your situation is very sad but considering you have not had biological children with this man, separation and an eventual divorce wouldnt be too hard to do.

Your child is at a crucial age. Many kids have grown fatherless, but it is worse to grow up knowing you are unloved and despised by your mother´s husband. That will leave a permanent scar in his soul.

You can not force this man to love your child. Period.
However, You must protect your child physical and emotional well being.

I hope you do the right thing and may you find the appropriate guidance.

My best wishes for you and your child.
UC

your husband is an immature, selfish baby. don't subject your son to this jerk. you and your son both deserve better than this a$$hole.

I'd stay with him. Things could get very interesting and at least one person can learn a lesson.

Unrealistic Expectations abound here. He's just being honest about your son. Alot of guys put on an act like they like your kid at first, so that you'll like them. I'd say 10 months is a pretty good time for the truth to finally come out; oftentimes it happens much later, so be happy. And it's really unfair to expect him to feel like your kid is his kid, too. If he didn't want to stick around his own kid, why would he want yours? The worst thing you can do is get mad at him for it. Sometimes people really don't know what they're getting themselves into - until they're into it. You are a fine example of that, aren't you? Of course you are. Did you know it was going to turn out like this? No. Why would he?

The whole "wh0re" thing you kind of have to blow off (no pun intended..hmm...well, it was a good one, heh). People say crazy sh1t sometimes, whatever. Anyway, why he says the things he says is far more important than what he says. With calling you a wh0re and complaining about privacy, he's just saying that he doesn't like having a third wheel around, and that third wheel just happens to be your son. So what? There's no need to complicate it any further than that by trading insults and getting all upset. Lay out your rules: your kid obviously isn't going anywhere. He will likely always resent your kid a little bit. Dude is going to have to learn to share your attention, and you may have to accept that he isn't going to be everything you thought he'd be. It just requires a readjustment of perspective and honesty about your situation.

Situations like these are a perfect example of something that can work when open minds prevail.

That said, I'd be willing to bet this tanks before the end of the month.

You should at least wait to talk to him. Ask him what may have provoked such an unexpected outburst, and work on ways to fix it. Failure to communicate in a timely mannar is the downfall of most relationships. Find a solution NOW. Perhaps a weekly date night for just the two of you? Still emphasize that your kid is important to you, and comes first on your list of priorities.
It's not that terribly surprising that he doesn't love your son like his own. He never really can, since he hasn't experienced raising him (and he literally isn't his). All you can really hope is that he's willing to be open to helping raise him in the future, which is really difficult for most men.
You're not a *****. Your man ran out on you, so you decided to find someone better.
All that being said however, most marriages break up around the first or fifth year. Best of luck with your situation.

After all that time there should be a bond of some kind. Doesn't he realise that your son is part of you, to love you, is to love your son, even in a small way. I know I would be as proud as punch for my stepson to call me father. Your husband is being unnecessarily cruel. The question is whether you can live with this cruelty.

I am a single mother raising two children, so i understand your predicament.

Don't let this man ruin you and your sons lives, get out now while you can before any damage is done. This man can have a very bad lasting effect on your son if he starts to treat him badly either verbally or mentally.

I am wondering why this came so out of the blue. Maybe you should talk to your husband and ask what is going on with him before you make any rash decision. Maybe he is depressed and just speaking irrationally.

You have to look at it from all points of view before making your decision.

Good luck.

I am sorry that you are hurt by what your husband said. It is my belief that in the grand scheme of things we are all related.

Some people have issues with step children - it is not an uncommon thing. I sure hope your son was not around when you had this 'discussion'. It is not good at all for him to hear this sort of thing.

If things are not improving - maybe finding professional help is needed. Trying to work through it is always the best option.

Sometimes when people are in relationships they love a person so much they will accept everything that comes with that person until the honeymoon is over so to speak.

I'm not trying to stick up for him but I do see where he is coming from. I don't think I can get emotionally involved with a man who has previous kids, mostly because the other woman will always be in the picture. Even if not it may still be hard to bond with a child that's not biologically connected and that child will always remind your partner of the other person you once had a bond with.

I'm not going to argue that it isn't selfish to think that way but I'd rather be honest and avoid that situation to begin with than have a blowup later on at my partner from being tired of feeling obligated or pretending.

Majority of the time people learn to love step children, but the difference gets to be obvious when a person has a child of their own, especially one of the same age.

Bottomline. I don't think this relationship can really be repaired. Unless you want to consider making a choice between your hubby or your son. He made it clear he'll never love your kid as his own. Better to know the truth 10 months in rather than 10 years later.

I'm sorry you had to experience this but there are nice guys out there who would take your son in as their own. Just keep looking.

This is so sad, this guy is not worth staying with, he should accept your child as his, without qestion.
My advice is to dump him before your son gets too attached and the break is worse, get out now while you can and find a decent guy who will accept your son.
If I were your partner/husband I would, otherwise I would not be with you.
You come as a valuable package, you and your son together!

The guy sounds like a d!ck and is using your son as an excuse to push you away. You can do better for your son and yourself.