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I have been single for a while, I've got loads of good qualities and can even make love, I'm not a player or a **** but I just can't find anyone, I just wish a lady would give me a chance cause they might be in for a shock. I don't feel sorry for myself and always enjoy a good laugh. I'm begining to think I should give up completely. It's a lonely bed every night! So if you live in my area and fancy giving me a chance just let me know.
Anandadas Anandadas 41-45, M 23 Answers Jun 6, 2010

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When I was looking online for a companion a couple of years ago, there was this disabled girl from Collier's Wood who kept looking at my profile. I never met her, but she seemed lovely and I would have been up for a meet had she expressed interest. Her username was 'the wheel deal' which I thought was very corny, but apt! <br />
The point is, though, why did she focus on her disability? That comes second, after the person themselves, surely? <br />
I agree with the masked man - drop the 'disabled' tag as an intro, and bring it in later if you get some responses. Once a lady has become your friend, the disability will be a small hurdle. If it isnt, she's not the right person for you anyway!

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same way any other man does

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I don't think it's purely because you're disabled, it can be pretty darn hard no matter who you are.

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my fiance was born with kidney problems and literally covered in scars on his body.. he s been really ill and had periods of really well,, i used to be phobic about illness.. he never ever thought he d get with a single mum.. . Literally a month after we met he had mrsa, and spent a week seriously ill.. in my house.It was a baptism of fire.. for the last 6 years i have helped him dialyse four times a week, he s been wiped out, infected, pretty much you name it.. i nearly lost him three times..My son and i adore him, we purposely havent moved in together because both felt it would be unfair to load that on my boy, and too much for us all.. he needed to let son and i have our time together because its not easy.. In Oct i was privileged to be able to donate my kidney to him, he s great, well and fit. He s ow moving in.. with the "Single mum!" and were getting married.. please dont think it wont happen.. Andy feltthe same as you.. people seemed to see the disability.. someone once said to me about Andy s scars "not being pretty"... to me.. and i told him this.. every one of those scxars saved him so we could meet.. and ive never been so awestruck by anyone.. with his strength, humour and sheer zest for life. You will fall in love, and she wont give a toss about anything because she will love YOU.. good luck and hugs xx

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Someone good will come along for you one day, dont worry. Just pray about it, God knows what you need even before you ask! By the way, I'm in a wheelchair too, my friends say that I'm fun to be around and always happy. They like people like this and not someone whos always complaining. So cheer up and start smiling and you will attract that woman you need. God bless !

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Don't wait for someone to give you a chance. Give yourself a chance first, then the rest will follow.

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May God Bless your sweet self ! May your loneliness be comforted in knowing you are loved! There are many shallow people and people who are afraid of what they don't understand.<br />
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Please don't worry.Your'e love will come. Disability is only a word. I'm a woman who is in love with a man who uses a w/c and at times crutches.When I see him , I see the man I love , not the disability. I am attracted to him because he has a beautiful heart and he is so loving to me and he is such a great listener. He completes me.<br />
To me what matters is whats in the heart . I will pray you will find your love. Hugs to you my friend.

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I share with you the same experience, its too hard to have a date when you bound to a wheelchair, and its feel harder when girls judge you not for something you have done but for something you was born with. I know that many people will suggest you prayers, but prayers will not bring a girl to you, unless the prayer will make you feel positive maybe! I tried twice to have a relationship, in both cases I had gain some sexual ****** but the second bid was a disaster, its shattered my confidence. <br />
Start focusing on your personal success through school or work, then be patient, build friendships. If its doesn't work, a prostitute might be helpful but I don't recommend that because hookers will makes you feel worse.

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I know what you mean bro I am tbi myself. You want to be real with people you meet. But I think you should start letting her get to know the real you then just throw your disability in to the works. And If she runs brush it off you don't need a shallow girl anyway.

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I realize that this chain of questions & answers is more than 2 years old, but there seem to be at least a few people who might be qualified to offer advice on MY situation, including the asker of the original question: <br />
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I'm an able-bodied woman who recently started dating a man who uses a wheelchair. We haven't been dating very long so I'm still getting to know him, but so far I'm intrigued and open to the possibility of seeing where this goes. (For the record, the wheelchair was not a deterrant for me -- in fact, I'm getting to be pretty kick-*** at getting it folded up and in my car when we go places). He has told me that he also likes me and enjoys my company...but he has a lot of anxiety about dating. We've been on a handful of dates now, and this trepidation has shown in several ways: for instance, he's never tried to kiss me goodnight, or even to hold my hand, even though he's told me I am his type; also, I've driven him home multiple times and we've spent several hours just sitting in my car talking, but he's never invited me in to see his apartment. <br />
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Those things can be chalked up to a desire to take things slowly, but recently he admitted that he's intimidated by the prospect of being anyone's 'boyfriend.' This is partly because of some medical issues he's had recently (he hasn't been feeling well or like himself), and also partly because he fears rejection. But he said that in addition to those issues, he actually fears things will go well with me...and he worries he will then screw it up somehow. He's had some admittedly unusual dating experiences, and he's so anxious about this that he's not really sure what he wants right now, and encouraged me to continue seeing other people...but not to rule him out as a prospective partner either.<br />
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In the interest of full disclosure, I DO know who I am and what I want, and I definitely don't want to casually date several men at once. If an able-bodied man I was dating was to encourage me to see other people, my first instinct would be that I have better things to do with my time than spend it with him and should move on...but I feel like this situation ought to be handled differently. ba<x>sed on what this man has told me about his life, it seems that he's faced a lot of cruelty and discrimination as a result of his physical situation. If he has fears about relationships and intimacy, perhaps he is justified in having them ba<x>sed on his experiences.<br />
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SO my questions are: How do I interpret what he's telling me? Is the anxiety he's feeling something common to physically disabled people in the dating world, or is he unusually tense about this whole process? Should I continue to hope that there might be potential for a relationship with this person, or is this his way of telling me that he's just not that into me? In spite of his request that I not discount the possibility that he and I may eventually become romantic, should I put him in the frie

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there could be many reasons for his hesitation but in my personal opinion instead of beating around the bush for your own sanity just be completely honest and ask for the kiss and tell him exactly how you feel because I hope he is not just treating you as if you are only the best he can get in his situation and really he wished he was with someone else. Your feelings are important and it's not nice when your not really wanted. I know I want real affection and not just going through the motions because it's the best I can get. Good luck and thank you for seeing past the chair.

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i am piyus i am single no gf.okkk because i meat with road accident nothing lost but my knee not bend full and 2 inc. leg short . girls allways like smart boy .i want a girl friend any girl plsss 9569758817 camm me thanxx

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YES YOU CAN FIND SOMEONE SPECIAL. THE REASON WHY YOU HAVE NOT FOUND HER YET IS BECAUSE THAT IS A VERY SPECIAL LADY IS SEARCHING FOR YOU AS HARD AS YOU ARE LOOKING FOR HER. WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT TO HAPPEN IT WILL

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i have heard that so many times!! i just want someone to hold.

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to anandadas, hang in there buddy, i will say a prayer for you. good luck.

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me too!!! all i get is "i will be your friend". i get so sick of that. friends are nice, but i want someone to kiss, hold, share with, sleep with, and yes for good or bad to get nude with and play with each body. sorry but i a guy too, even if ladies don't know that!!

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Maybe they are willing to see what your about but don't want you all over them the first time they meet you. If your smart you will have many female friends. Your not always gonna meet the woman you want while she is going through the same exact things as you.

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Hi there, I am also male and disabled. I think it is more difficult to find someone when you have a disability, I remember being on a dating site, ( until this point I hadnt even thought of myself as disabled, I have a right leg above knee amputation) any way, for some reason a women emailed me, I didnt respond quick enough for her, and she made the comment............ God I cant even pull a one legged man. People ho I told said ignore it, she isnt worth it, however it does hurt, and it does have an impact. Also due to pain and other things, its difficult to get out to places where you may go to find someone. I must admit I think the best answer is Online dating, at least within your profile, you can tell people what you are like, then who ever contacts you, will have no problems with the disability aspect.

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Do people even know your missing a leg? I thought its hard to tell. What do girls say when you tell them?

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You are right, it can be difficult to see if some people have lost a leg, however it depends on if the leg has been amputated below the knee or above. A below knee is hard to see due to having the knee flextion, however for an above knee, you have lost the use of knee movement and also if the amputation is up by the hip. You have to swing your leg out, so you can tell. In addition to this, there are many different prosthetic legs, depends on your budget, A good computer enhanced one costs around £25.000. So there are many issues, Me im above knee, but not as far up as the hip. I havn't met anyone to go out with to see what they would say. Im sure its down to me, if im confident and ok with it, I guess most people will be, its just adjusting to things. HAPPY NEW YEAR xx

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Disability should not be a even a question. The right girl will accept your disability. Don't give up. If you are a decent, kind, loving man it will happen. God will determine the time. A few prayers wouldn't hurt. Will say one for you myself. Keep on keeping on.

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Delete those memories of rejections starting right now. Forget them. Focus now on the woman who's meant to be in your life. Read again the posts and ponder how it could make that meeting start on a cheerful note. <br />
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Smile. Keep us updated when you finally meet her, ok?

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Stop being a "disabled man" and focus on being a "nice guy". You're looking for affection, not sympathy.<br />
Sorry if that sounds harsh, but its true and it will work for you.

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I've tried all that and the rejection is what is making me a disabled man first. It is a reality and nothing to do with self pity. I can't be bothered with all that self pity stuff. If you knew me you would understand. I am hoping someone might give me some practical advice. Sympathy is something that can be quite patronising and not something I desire. Surely if you understood about disabled people most of us don't want any sentimental rubbish. It isn't the same as normal dating otherwise why would a lady tell me off because they said they like walking. As if this is something we can't do, well my chair is off road but it doesn't climb fences. So according to this woman if you like walking then you can't have a boyfriend in a wheelchair. I've heard it all, someone said to me once "I don't date sick people" and I replied saying I wasn't sick and what made her think that.

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I see this was posted 3 years ago, but hey better late then never.<br />
Sorry to meet on these terms, nothing worse when one feels down. <br />
The main thing is that you are TOTALLY honest with people from the get go, I understand there are a few people commenting on here who do not have a disability however their opinions are equally as important because no two people feel or think the exact same way.<br />
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I am a C4 Quadriplegic, I had a accident when I was 13 years old, im now 40 aka a old Bast***. lol<br />
I consider myself quite high when it comes to disabilities as I cannot do a thing for myself, I'm literally dependent on others 24/7 - whether its because I need to be scratched or be showered and everything in between, so you can imagine. <br />
Talk about being a dead starfish in bed. lol <br />
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I have been in many long term relationships, ALL with fully abled woman. I found myself ending all but one relationship as its quite obvious I wasn't ready for it even though I thought I was time after time.<br />
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After my last relationship I totally changed and decided that I would NO longer search and try to enter another relationship, im quite happy being single. <br />
IF that special girl came along and found me and I thought WOW she's damn fine, that is the only time I believe all this "stuff" will eventuate for REAL. <br />
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I think when us humans intentionally go out of our way to look for that special ONE, 95% of the time they NEVER work out regardless if you have a disability or if your perfectly able and have the face & body of a centrefold.<br />
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You said you have loads of qualities, if you make enough friends sooner or later some woman will want to get to know you because of these quality traits you genuinely carry within your personality. <br />
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You sound confidant enough without being cocky which helps. The best advice I can give is: <br />
First and foremost be open and honest about everything from the beginning, don't hide anything.<br />
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Secondly don't enter a relationship just for the sake of it or because your lacking that companionship or intimacy. <br />
I made this mistake many times, If that initial chemistry isn't their on both sides then it's just a matter of time before it ends. <br />
What im trying to say is you want to be infatuated by her and visa versa, ask questions and don't be embarrassed or hold back mate, once you find that someone you will be able to ask her anything and she will also. <br />
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Last and by no means least. Let it find you mate, don't chase it. <br />
In the mean time just enjoy life the best you can.<br />
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I'm quite sure, Sooner or later this special person will enter your life and that's when ALL the hard work begins as it takes allot of compromise and understanding on both parts for a relationship to work out.<br />
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Good luck mate, I wish you the best. Make sure to Keep smiling.

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Well, I can see Im answering this over 3 years after it was posted, but it doesnt matter how long ago it was posted, people have the same issues with dating a handicapped man. First off, let tell say that I am not in a wheelchair, but I only have one leg, so I think I qualify as disabled. <br />
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To the people who write "drop the disabled tag", I hope this doesnt sound mean, but you have no idea what your talking about. If you dont tell a potential partner about your disability, you will either be A. tagged a liar or B. Accused of being ashamed of your disability. I agree that there are a lot of ways to be more positive about your situation, but you must tell someone within the first 3 conversations about your situation. I have a friend who is only 5ft 5 inches tall and he was dumped on the spot during a first date for not disclosing that he is "short". <br />
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My Grandfather told me I would have a hard time finding a wife because she would think I couldnt take care of her. Now my Grandfather lived in a different era where physical labor was alot of the labor force, and a disabled man can hold a job easier now than he could 50 years ago, its still important to a woman that a man can hold a job. So I highly recommend telling any woman that you either have a job or that you have a steady income. <br />
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My last point, although I could talk for hours about disabled and dating, is that alot of men and women alike have not dealt with disabled people that much and its natural for them to be a little hesitant to date a disabled person. However, if you allow a person to get to know you and realize you are not much different than able bodied people, they will be alot more willing to date you.

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