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BATOVN BATOVN 46-50, M 20 Answers Jan 23, 2013 in Parenting & Family

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Their own brain chemistry. No one has control over that. The fact that the others are different clearly absolves you. You should feel no guilt. You did your very best.

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thank you!!

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Different children have different personality inheritances. If you raise them all the same then the personality least compatible with your methods will cause a bad outcome.

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each person is an individual

your daughter needs to grow up, I'm not sure how she thinks giving another person as a Christmas gift is acceptable

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exactly..........

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Your children are your children. No two children are *exactly* the same (thought I guess there are exceptions) and, in effect, they are empty vessels waiting to be filled. You can teach your children all that is good and wholesome, but a time comes in life when our children break-away on their own ... all children are the same in this regard. What we *cannot* do is fill our children with what we think are the greatest attributes. What makes a person special is what makes them different, and what makes them different is what *they* take onboard which makes them the person they become.



It's a two-edged sword in effect. Our children can exceed our expectations of them ... equally they can fail our expectations but in both cases? We don't have control of what they take onboard; we can only hope they turn out as well as we expect.



~F~

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that ....as they say.....will preach right there!!!!

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First,they are individuals,give him or her time and they will come back to themselves. "God" said,"Train your child the way they should go and they will take it with them into adulthood. Give them time and still show them "Love". Good Luck!

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Of course or can happen, it happened with my children, I have a college senior and an ex con. who refuses to get off his ***

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If you have done a good job raising them and one turns out not the way you would like. a loser as you say. this is not you fault or you problem anymore you did your job by raising them. now let them go on and be their own people. I know a parents Love only wants the best for our children but the fact is not all have the Karma to be successful or great.. now all you can do is continue to Love them for who and what they are. support them when you can and let them be when they want to be. This is my opinion. Hare Krishna

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It happens all the time, I think our children grab their DNA from many people in our gene pool and sometimes the combo isn't a good mix.

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they dont all have the same experiances, the first one is the loser isnt he/she? anyways you might raise them the same way, but you cant control who they hang out with and how they deal with things

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actually i have 5 daughters....all adults....from 26 to 37....the #4 is the problem.....she cannot keep a job a apt...and vehicle and we have had custody of her daughter for 2 yrs....(she is 9 now).....now my daughter has come out of the closet and wants to present her daughter to her girlfriend as a christmas present so she is suing us for custody......ugly mess and its not gonna get better...we tried the high road and we are getting burned...anyway....

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Its her daughter, no one is a perfect mom. you should give her custody if she can keep her job for 3 months from now.

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we have tried that road.....she cant even keep a car or an apt that long....and any job she has had shes been fired from in 5 months or less......its just not an easy situation....but i DO appreciate the input...THANKS!!

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Well tell her you will give her your grandaughter when she can keep her job for 1 year x)

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My kids are complete opposites but have been raised the same way. I have one who is a perfectionist extremely ambitious, very smart, good in school etc. The other one barely gets by most of the time kind of has the " I don't give a ****" attitude, is very difficult at home. So ive always wondered the same but everyone is different and ive learner to not compare them and accept each of them for who they are.

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Just the way it goes--know a couple with 2 kids. Daughter is all you could want. Great student-never in any trouble-going to a good college with scholarships. Son is heroin addict- steals from his own family-is in jail right now for burglary. Will probably come out and do it all over again.

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Because children are not born a blank slate. Each has their own basic in born personality with their own set of interests and desires. All children should NOT be raised exactly the same way, that is the often repeated error in my opinion. My parents intentionally raised my siblings and me the same, mostly my sister and I the same, because they did recognize some differences for the fact that my brother was male. It was very sad, because I was not my sister and I resented being treated as if I were, not to mention that what worked with her, simply didn't work well with me.

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we raised them as individuals but they were taught the same rules and respect and given opportunities to do well and have success....this was all her choice and its not that we ever tried to make carbon copies believe me!!.....thta aint possible

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So you didn't mean it when you said you raised them exactly the same. lol There are many more influences on our children than just what we bring as well as their own choices. It is sad to watch especially when the child is your own.

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They are the secret rebel that doesn't want to abide and fall in line like the others

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Maybe his tired of being raised by a judgemental parent like you.

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It ain't all nurture. I hear that with fraternal twins it is not unusual for one to become a stand up citizen and the other a complete baket case.

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Perhaps you shouldn't have raised them all the same considering they are different people.

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Don't judge? Sounds like you have

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