Sounds like you already know the answer to your own question. Either just put up with it and use them back; or just kick them to the curb.

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You can't until someone tells you.

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are you paying everything? Are you the one feeding him? Does he work?<br />
Have you been to his place yet?

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if he's using you, he'll use you for his own gratification; he'll only have s*x with you, he will rarely treat you out or treat you nicely; he won't acknowledge special days; he won't invite you to hang out with his family or friends.

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what's he actually doing ?

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