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How can you cope with seeing your ex with another woman (even though he is a jerk and she looks like a man)? I laughed at the first sight, but now I cry. It has been a while and I thought I am over with a jerk like that. But seeing the pic haunted me. I know this is almost a stupid question but it really hurts. Feel being used and his excuses for breaking up sound even more absurd now. He said he wouldn't settle down until his "retarded brother" get married. It really hurts coz once upon a time I care for his brother because I thought I had the love and courage to be brave and believe in being together forever. Anyways, being nice on the outside and with a good heart, cannot compete with luck, or absurdity.
ludai ludai 22-25 9 Answers Dec 15, 2012 in Struggles

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Didn't you're mother teach you, you should share or give away your unwanted toys? same thing!

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So true!! Excellent answer!!

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But for a toy .. it's easier.. and no crying.. i cry too much and mention about crying TOO much... i know.. but..

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I know its hard to get over but we all have failed relationships. I'm sure you'll find someone much better and far more deserving of someone as wonderful as you! Untill that time, if and when you think of him, remember he is a jerk. You won't find someone (and shouldn't pursue anyone) until you've have your chance to grieve and move on.

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have been for a long time!! i don't want to waste anymore time.. but time doesn't help.. for years already.. i thought i was over but this still cuts and hurts! :(

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you're so young, if you don't mind, how long is "a long time"?

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over 1000 days.. it's way past my deadline for myself... i am very down these days.. since knowing he is all happy with his "man".... he was so good and turned out to be cruel and heartless.. i no longer know, how to tell what is a good guy and what's not.. it's like he finished with you then he is done with you.. he called you princess but suddenly push you over the cliff by saying he didn't "feel" the sparks anymore and then walked off... that's all... i was shocked.. and still shock... i thought i was over... but lately since knowing how he could live happily without any conscience.. i do feel stupid.. but i can't stop crying.. i know it's silly... but it pierces... so terrible. Thanks for listening.

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Glad to listen. Sorry for your pain. First real love?
they do last a long time. Mine lasted over 20 years, but I was able to move on well before because I knew I would never be. That's what you must come to realize, it will never be...and so you must move on, you will move on.

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At least you were happy for longer.. but i know i was used.. i know now..
a good man will never let you cry or get hurt.. where are they.. nada.

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I think you misunderstood, my pining lasted 20+ years and through a marriage.
There are still good guys. the thing is you have to love yourself first.

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I tried.. but every day i cry.. thanks for listening and sharing. It really hurts now.. i don't know how to describe it.. but feel stupid and betrayed.. and still shocked despise time has passed.. how to forget about a person completely?? How come other people can do it but I can't even though I know I shouldn't remember or miss? What to do? I don't know. I feel very drained. I am sick and tired of my own weakness as well. It's terrible to cry all the time. I don't like being like this. But it hurts.. still hurts very bad.

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I DO understand the pain. Really the only thing to do is decide you are not going to be held hostage buy the memories of this person. Get up, paste a smile on if you must and face the world! Deciding to do it is the hard part. Once you do, it will become easier.
Try your hardest as school or work or whatever you do! focus on those things! focus on YOU, treat yourself like the queen you should be treated like! spoil yourself! you deserve it!

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Hi 5Shadow, thank you for your words. I know what you mean. I actually have tried all these things.. put on a fake smile in order to turn it into a true one.. and btw, even tonight my friends with recent breakups,, i tried to be convincing and comforting them.. but i am even weaker than they are.. one girl even stops drinking altogether (she drank before her breakup). It's true you cry more when you drink,, doesn't matter it gives you good feelings but you end up sobbing... it's hard.. very hard to be THAT PERSON.. when i am the bystander.. i can say comforting words.. so sarcastic for me.. coz despise i try to help them.... i myself am very very weak.. i just didn't cry in front of them.
And i wish you all the best too.. i know you probably went through a lot in order to sympathize. But sometimes I wish I have that kind of "gene" like what that jerk has.. forget about things.. and move on easily.. but i don't have that "gene".. unfortunately.
I don't know how not to think of him or miss the nice part of him.. beyond my senses.
Now I really understand what's a broken heart.. i used to take it not so seriously but now I know how horrible it is.
For me, I would rather have nothing than to have been lied to about being loved.. then being abandoned at the end, alone and helpless.
I used to be confident enough to be single.. but now i am just lonely.. lonely in the sense of feeling rather helpless about the emotions.. the cry.
It really sucks.. love is beautiful,, but fake love is hurtful. and it is haunting...
i don't know if hypnosis works.. one day i may need to try.. i like the idea of "eternal sunshine of a spotless mind".......i would give it a try if it exists.
I am quite ready even if the end of the world is coming.. and may it come and gone in a mere second.
Sorry to say that.. but that's what i think. Of course I know other would say this is crazy..
I wish I am crazy than i won't even self blaming myself for silly thoughts.
Have a good new era (on the 22nd).. and Merry Christmas.

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I was thinking, this seems to have been a romance that started when you were very young, which most always turn out bad for one reason or another. Sadly, few things are as immovable as a young girls heart when she is in love. You need to stop blaming yourself, which I suspect you are doing. Nothing you could have done would ahve fixed this or kept him. You need to work on your self esteem, you sound like a wonderful, committed and devoted person! Focus on your wonderful qualities and find someone who is actually worth of your great gifts! Emerse yourself in work, school or a hobby...or all three! It will help
lol... new era huh?! and a very Happy Christmas and New year to you! May you receive everything you need!

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i wish too.. today i cry even more so.. the holiday has a bad effect on me now.. i really cannot bear myself being like this.. he has a new pic posted.. and i still remember ... the girl is really ugly ... nothing is fair... he is a jerk but i can't stop crying.. my eyes are very swollen now.. hope no one can tell tomorrow. I feel very sick now coz i did cry way much today.. talk to you later.. thanks a you have a good christmas.. best wishes really.

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Psalms118:8 its better to trust in the Lord than to trust in man

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Yes, this kind of sinks in but the problem is it feels more hurt because I cannot trust any men anymore. I hate them and I am so scared.

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Don't look.

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Agree.. i wish i didn't.

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Well... first stop being friends with him on any social networking sites. And don't go to places you know they will be at. If you do happen to encounter them just be polite, tell them something truthful,but kind,like "I hope you are happy together" or "I always wanted you to be happy". Then go on with life. Time for you to heal and move forward with life. Don't dwell over "what could have been" or "what should have been" it's not worth it.

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thx.. but how can people be so SHAMELESS to put their happy pics after hurting another person or persons. I don't know what's the mentality of a selfish jerk. I am not a bad person but I can't be hypocritical to wish them well, for all I can see he deserves a broken heart for what he has bestowed on other. Honestly. Now i really doubt about his things in the past if every time was mutual or it was just his lie.

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You avoid seeing them until you feel better. And then you consider them both as a "jerk" and "a woman who looks like a man". Sounds like they aren't great anyway and not worth thinking about.

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I know.. but I don't know why I cry... but thx

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You cry sweetheart because you're unhappy. Be happy. Because he just ain't worth crying over. Cry in private, let out the tears, and then stand proud and dignified! And wait for the really nice person to come into your life.

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I have been trying to smile.. sometimes faking it but sometimes real... but I cry all the time in private and secretly because people just don't like a crying person. It really hurts, my first time with this kind of thing, hopefully never again. I don't have courage to love anymore.

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You don't have the courage yet....but you will! Have you got family to talk to? Spend Christmas with a small child (your own little niece or nephew?) or spend a lot of time with a small child. They usually end up putting a real smile on our face!

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not old enough to have niece/nephew yet.. but that jerk has.. i am going nuts now!!

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don't wonder i have no smiles but a jerk has.. not fair!

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Thats a hard thing to do even when we are over the other persons crap....<br />
When we see them with someone else i think we automatically start judging and nit-picking every little thing we can see about the person..<br />
When you feel like crying try finding something humorous about the situation...maybe its the hint of a mustache she has or the full blown man beard shes rocking...or that she walks like she has a set of testicles the size of a bulls scrotum...<br />
Try that....but the honest best thing you can do is fight through the tears and be strong because it is going to make you a stronger person in the end as cliche as it sounds...<br />
Good luck you will find a man worthy of having you and your heart

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Thanks.. hope so but I don't want to trust the men anymore.. thus using EP. He lied about everything. Even though I am sure I am way better.. it still hurts.. I didn't know this kind of thing can sting no matter how I try to make fun.. I did laugh at first but then now I have been crying for days.
Thx for your post.

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It is very hard to trust again and someone you cared about deeply done you wrong...
Not all men are bad....
none of us are perfect....i think thats where alot of the problem lays....not just with you but everyone...we are raised with the notion that we must find the PERFECT partner which we can not ever find....just the right one for us....
Keep your chin up

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Yep.. may be he thinks i am not perfect enough.. nothing is enough... but how to trust anymore... this one jerk is highly dangerous.. when he "liked" (never loved) me, he said he "loved" me and said never disappointed you.. but one day suddenly said he lost his feelings.. really.. i just wish him hell.. but the thing is.. the world is not fair. Nothing makes sense. I accepted a not perfect man, but he abandoned me and put salt on my wound. I just wish I don't feel anything.. or cry. Actually the first moment I didn't even know how to let out my emotions and cry. I laughed the first night. But not until the 3rd then I could finally wept. And today I cried an hour or so before getting on EP and hopefully to find some wise advice, or distractions.

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Lol i did see my ex with his new beeotch, and it was a man. I just smiled. Cause he means nadadamnthing to me. He threw his prissy hands up and said oh heyallll no. We got to move. . . That folks was the highlight. He's still holds hard feelings cause I whipped his *** like the beeotch he wanted to be in my own front yard when he decided to tell me he was testing out the other waters right after we decided to break up a couple weeks prior. So much for being friends with your exes. :)

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Sounds bad.. but it's also awfully bad when you ex didn't even try to be "friend".. just ignore all together..
thx for your post.

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Lol we were friends actually. Good friends we were together for over a year after a tradgic event in my life. At a certain point I say him down told him that I wanted to still be good friends but I wanted to see other people and he agreed cause that's all we were was good friends just shouldn't be in a relationship. No arguments or crazy things like that we were just great friends. Lmao after we called it off on mutual terms you think he would tell me in that time he was thinkin of testing waters or that he was a lil fruity but nope just cane over one day and told me he was dating a man. Automatic reflexes just came out and I whipped his ***. After that everything just went down hill. Couldn't be friends. Lol that's the only part that sucks is we lost a good friendship all the other things didn't matter.

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But you should appreciate him because he was supportive. I don't have your luck. It's really hard to find a real friend in real life. You have the luck. He sounds childish but he seems to care.

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You clearly aren't over him yet, the only way to cope is with time and if a new man comes into your life that will help you to totally get over him, like you said, he's a jerk.

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that's why i didn't know i would cry.. may be it's weekend and I cry more today.. but thanks

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but i also can't trust any other men..... I have spent years but time is not the solver. I can't waste any more time.. my eyes hurt after crying so so much... i just can't control and thus needs EP as the last resort.

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no **** DUMB AZZ<br />
I BEEN TRYING TO TELL U<br />
U BLIND

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you don't have to be so harsh.

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