IDK... i've been trying to figure that out my whole life and I though it would get better the older I got, but I feel like it's even gotten worse. therapists have said to retrain your cognitive thinking by consciously thinking good things when you initially automatically think a negative thought about yourself. but don't think life would be better off without you... I'm sure there are many people who love you more than you know and just try to keep that in mind when you're feeling down.
10 days to self-esteem, is what u need to read, and paractise! confidence will grow from the "DOING" part of this exercise. so work on. yes it will come with competency.
Ithink you have to challenge yourself;I had some problems with public speaking,so I took a course in it..its an ongoing project.. :) No is always your option,no matter what others say. Everyone belongs here,find your place.
The same way I gained weight...I ate everyone else's.Kidding.I just stopped caring what other people think about me.It was hard at first.I just kept telling myself "you are ok."