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EAGLEFLYING EAGLEFLYING 41-45, F 9 Answers Jun 3, 2012

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I did it.

I no longer speak to anyone in my family except for my mother and one of my brothers. The rest of them had hurt me and used me and manipulated me too many times. I forgave, but that doesn't mean I have to let them back into my life to cause more drama.

The best advice I can give you is to care from a distance. If you truly care about them, you won't enable them. And if you care about yourself, you won't keep them around.

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Fantastic answer!

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Thnks...that was pretty insightful...maybe i need to look at "Do I really care about myself?.....they have my son...so I fear them

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i wish i had at least my mom....for a girl,,,they are so powerful.....she is the key one that is hurting me

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I did it. Basically, I quit the family business and was ready to never look back. When she tried to contact me, my husband told her to stop. I finally wrote her a letter telling her that she was no longer a part of my life, and we needed to move on. She's tried to contact me a couple of times since in the last 15 years, but I've just ignored her. You just have to stay strong and stick to your guns.

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I htink..if I had other support...and was in a relatinship...I would not feel the sting of what they do....

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I can understand that. I was lucky to have the support of my husband and the friends that knew what was going on.

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You just do what you have written. You cut them out of your life, no contact ever and move on. It's easier than you think.

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Usually though....most people who cut others out...have a few left....this is really the whole kit /caboodle up here by me.....it will be like losing 5 people in a car crash...like greiving 5 deaths at once

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It will be nothing like that. I've experienced that too and it's a lifetime nightmare. If you don't want to cut them all off then don't it's your choice. Trouble is if you leave a direct link in the loop they'll still get to you. Guaranteed. If there's someone worth saving from that wreck, try and take then with you, if it's legal.and you can support them.
Else you choose, Stay and experience the toxic or leave and enjoy life. It really helps to have a huge argument just before you go, That way you feel right and they are glad you're gone. I had to write long painful letters as all mine lived in different States to me.
Worked big time. Two have since died and I felt nothing but relief.

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Consider the consequences of staying, choose the lesser of two evils. Make a choice and stick with it. You owe it to yourself - no one else can do it. I did this, when I was 11, moving myself and my brother and sister into foster care. They went back, I refused and left my home, moving 1500 miles away, when I was 17. I haven't been back, or had anything to do with them since 1996. It hurts sometimes, but the alternative would be so much worse.

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omg...i was in foster care because of her....and now trying to go back...as an adult has been hell....she has my son...and that is what is difficult...but you are wise...thank you

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Adding your son to the mix changes things... In that situation, I don't know what I would do. I'm so sorry.

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Just work on building your own life without them in it.

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It is quiet obvious to me that you are incapable of moving away or detaching your self from them so just admit to yourself you can not do it and they are no (as you say) are toxic

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Sorry, Hon. You just have to bite the bullet and DO it.

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I guess ...seperation and time....is the first step...

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It isn't going to be easy, but for your own sanity and health, you have to find a way to do it.

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