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My SO was untruthful to me at the beginning of our relationship about a lot of big things (or so I have suspected-he is not ready to talk yet) and has told small lies throughout the last two years. This has led to me prying/snooping/pushing very often, which makes him feel cornered and leads to more lies and not wanting to talk. We are both in therapy now (separately) and he is telling the truth (as far as I know) almost all the time, and has even came clean on lying to me about some things. But even though he has improved so much I cannot ease this doubt I have with everything he says. He won't go to therapy with me and I am at a loss as far as how to fix this.
littlelioness littlelioness 22-25, F 17 Answers Nov 21, 2012 in Struggles

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It's like broken glass. You can glue it together, the mark will still remain

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I think it is possible to have a healthy relationship, if both of you are open and willing to trying the healthy things that a therapist would suggest. I think that... it is a process rebuilding trust, but that there is root causes behind lying that need to be addressed first.



I don't it's possible to force a person to change. One can only suggest things, and support each other to decide for themselves what it is they need to do.



I know a couple of people who were in difficult situations with their marriage/relationship, but now they don't shut up about how much they talk honestly with their partner. lol which is a good thing in my book.

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It's not always possible. Depends on the other person how much is required

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Don't dwell on the past.. move forward and seek the new...

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At the start of a relationship I was told things that later turned out to not be the case. All you can do is talk it out and the decide if you can get to the point of trust.

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you are far too young for all of this drama...you are wasting your life on problems that should not exist..you have your entire life ahead of you...move on...

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What is trust,you mean if somebody breaks your it is destroyed but if someone is loyal and agrees to you,all is good and you trust.This is not trust,this is an agreement.Trust is a taste and it is in you.Whatever happens you still trust and it is your essence.Trust in your self and non can break that.

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can't answer without knowing the reason

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I have no idea. Can't wait to hear from someone who's been there and knows.

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It is a very rough delicate situation...because even if a person does get to trusting again...i doubt it will EVER be at the same level....
It is just like being cut....Yes...that cut heals and the scab falls off but that scar will ALWAYS be there...and just as a scar it will be a constant reminder....because that person will say or do something unintentionally and it will trigger a instant doubt...
When a person gets burned once...the they to be guarded and leary and protect themselves from being burned again

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I think you have a good perspective on this.

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I believe trust is the one thing that once it is broken it is damn near impossible to get back

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One of my last relationships was like this...we had dated for a little over 3 years....
But first let me say i am very big on trust...i can deal with all problems when there is trust...
At first it started with small things...like i would plan a date for us weeks in advance and give her a time that i would like to leave and the day would get here and she would call me 5 minutes before time to leave and say she had just started getting ready....but biggie at first but there was no sense in it...the it got progessively worse and with bigger things up to saying she was going to move it but also when the time got there...it was always an something why she couldnt...blah blah blah...finally we split up....then she wanted me back one day and then she didnt...******* me around....saying she wanted to be friends but saying she wanted more..hmm hmmm remember we are split up hello) and THEN she TELLS ME >>> "You are not where you need to with me" i am like YOU are the that isnt in very good standings....you have lied...cheated and devastated me..you have to earn your trust back...
It is just crazy....i am willing to let her earn it back...YES it can and needs to be earned because i will NOT just give it back...i gave it ONCE and get F*cked over....
I wish you the best of luck and hooe things work out for the best which ever way you choose

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