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My boyfriend's son came out over the weekend for visitation. He dropped his sippy cup and looked at his daddy and automatically started to cry. Do you think that, when the mother has him in her care, she is yelling at him if he drops or spills something? I remember her telling me years ago that she hates messes.I'm just worried that she is yelling at her son for no good reason.I just hope she's not taking other angers out on him.
PeaceAhhLisa PeaceAhhLisa 22-25, F 7 Answers Sep 20, 2010

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You have every right to be concerned but I have a 2.5 yr old son who is just like that when it comes to spilling things. I will be in the living room and he comes out from the kitchen, in tears saying mumma mumma pointing to the kitchen, Ill follow him and its all because he spilled his drink or knocked over his snack. I wont yell at him, I usually just tell him "its okay, just forget about it, there's no need to get upset over this" So some children are just like that, before I had my son I would've also thought the child had been abused if he or she acted this way. Also my son is in my care 24-7 since birth, not even a babysitter involved. I do hope everything turns out okay.

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You are right to be suspicious. But there is not much you can do about it since you do not have any legal rights with the child. So unless you know some clear, specific information about this situation, there is nothing you can do. <br />
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When it comes to emotional abuse, the best thing most of us can do when we suspect it is to stay aware, ask questions and, most of all, be a positive force in the child's life.

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Have you ever seen somebody drop a beer at the bar... they cry too.<br />
Maybe he just was happy with his drink

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I would keep an eye out, but I would not assume and draw to conclusions ba<x>sed on one incident. I would definatley keep your gaurd on though.

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Your assumptions seem correct. The fact that he cried when he made a mistake is proof that the parent takes messes very seriously and probably punishes the child for such mistakes. However, the extent of the abuse cant be assumed. Until you see an actual reaction, you wont know if the father is physically or emotionally abusing the child, or to what extent. Some children can also be very emotional.

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I've seen how the baby's father is. He is very good to his son. He believes that, in order for a child to grow and learn, he needs to take chances, get messy and make mistakes - as miss frizzle from magic school bus would say lol. But another thing, the day his son came home for the weekend with his dad, he wouldn't let his dad go. when his dad went to change his diaper, he wailed, which it wasn't normal for him to do this. Sure, the baby has whined during a diaper change but not like this. Afterwards, he hugged his daddy and wouldn't let him go. My boyfriend is concerned that something might have happened in the mother's care, that would make his son get so upset during a diaper change.

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