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I know about autism, but understanding Aspergers is throwing me some. I can't tell if someone is narcissistic or if he is aspie. Some of the things he says are cruel, but could it be that he doesn't realize that? And he seems suspicious and paranoid...always thinking the worst about people....is that an aspie trait? I am so confused. What is the difference??
Vessa Vessa 41-45, F 8 Answers Feb 25, 2011

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MeltedPetal... your comment sounds quite ignorant and I'd have to ask - just how well do you "know" this "kid" in your daughter's class?



I'm a teacher. Believe me, the spectrum exists. And it's quite interesting to observe different children on the spectrum, at least for those of us who are open and accepting enough to acknowledge it.

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Two autistic sons. I think it is really comical when people claim the spectrum does not exist.



Both my sons don't mean to be mean, they are just honest and have little common sense. If someone asked if you like my dress, they might answer, " It is really ugly and you should not wear it."



They are answering truthfully and without the benefit of social graces.



Yes they can be taught ways to fake it.

One son cannot look people in the eyes. If you force him to he screams and waves his arms in a total panic.

We have taught him to look at peoples nose. To the person speaking to him it appears he is looking him in the eyes when he is not.

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I am married to a man with asperger's syndrome and I cannot tell either, the difference between what I can attribute to asperger's and what is something that is his personality and not because of asperger's. Unless he tells me directly when I get mad or ask a question on why he does this or that, he sometimes tells me. Like he hates it when I squeeze him when I hug him, he hates when I run my fingertips along his back, even if it's lightly he says my fingers are "claws" or "talons" and I have short nails, he has challenged me to crack an egg in my hand before( I can't of course)--he really thinks my hands are strong and I "grip" him and "pinch" him when this is just my natural way of showing affection and no boyfriends in my past complained when I did the same things. He says this is an asperger's trait. So unless he tells me directly that is the asperger's, I cannot tell.

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The truth dear Vessa is most likely you wont be able to tell the difference . I think only with more time and interaction maybe seeing a pattern in the behavior then again maybe not. This is a toughie. Wish you luck though darling *hugs*

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Some of it has to do with the age of the person and of course the severity of the disorder

If a normal adult says for example 'You are ugly'; It is most probably, but not necessarily intended an insult

If an Asperger's child says 'You are ugly'; it is most probably, but not necessarily not intended an insult

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If what they say is true then they might not have meant it to be hurtful. If what they say is false then it was probably an insult. This goes for both narcissists and Asperger's people.

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That is very interesting...hadn't really thought about it that way.


What if the person believes what he says could be true? Especially if he is the defensive and paranoid type?


I am pretty confused, actually!

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Dr House would know.

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Do you happen to have his number?


I need help!

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