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How come it seems that some people seem to "Get over" abuse in childhood and even adult hood-like rape and beatings-well some seem to function normally and i can't seem to?
wowpup wowpup 36-40, F 20 Answers Jan 13, 2010

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its a horable event, thats why

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Honey I am 24 and have dealt with the same thing it is not something you just get over and while u may want to talk to someone, take it from someone who has been there talk to someone not necessarily professional, bc I know I just kept getting pissed beyond belief at my old therapist especially when she said I understand when since she had never been there she did not. If you would like a friend I can be here for you.

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I don't know, honey, I'm 63 and still not over it. The best I can do is keep on going to therapy, take my meds (for major depression), forgive my abusers (VERY DIFFICULT), keep putting one foot in front of the other, and hope for the best. And pray a lot.<br />
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If I can be of any help at all, or if you just need to vent, please pm me.

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I'd say because you never fully healed. One does not just 'get over' that kind of violation - whether it is physical, mental/emotional, sexual abuse or neglect - It could be denied, or buried, - but the damage will ALWAYS come back in some form - until there's real psychic/emotional, spiritual healing - that's work, but you're worth it! If a survivor of abuse is honest with themselves and a therapist about the violation and what it did to them that healing can begin to take place. Therapy with an experienced therapist is a really good place to start - Its NEVER too late - Now is a good time to start. Best wishes.

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You ever thought about going on Craigslist and starting your own support group for people, who survived childhood abuse?

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two words. ACCEPTANCE and FORGIVENESS. these two things will go along way towards helping you heal. i can tell you from experience you will never forget. i am 39, and i have never gotten over it. i have been diagnosed with severe chronic ptsd. i was subjected to four years of captivity and sustained torture. therapy and medication have helped, but its the inner things that have made the biggest diference. my unwillingness to let someone else's actions dictate my life and imprison me in my own mind. i am sorry you went through what you did. if you ever need to talk ith someone who understands i am always here for you. its inner peace you seek and i have managed to find that.

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We all carry with us some remnants of our past. There is some very good advice given as answers to your question. I too have had a difficult time and it nearly drove me to insanity. I now have a very different outllook on life and this has helped me to cope. Firstly, I have completely stopped blaming myself for what happened. I now understand that I cannot do anything to change the past. I refuse to allow the people who hurt me, to continue hurting me now. I have 'won' and they have 'lost'. I look for the positive side of what happened to me. I congratulate myself on how strong I have become and how I have broken my family's cycle of abusive behavior. I have made concious decisions about how I want my life to be, I have made goals and educted myself to see things differently. I have forgiven those who hurt me. I have reprogrammed my brain with positive thoughts. It takes alot of effort to turn your life around but it can be done. Reading and cognitive therapy is very good for putting positive thoughts in and forcing negative thoughts out. Exercise releases endorphines which can lift your mood and help both physical and emotional pain. A good balanced diet will strengthen both your body and mind. Relaxation techniques will calm you and empty your mind of negative thoughts. If you take this wholistic approach then you will improve. It does take time but it is really worth the effort. As time passes the amount of effort needed will be less. Look for the positive in your life instead of focusing on the negative. 'Whatever you dwell upon grows in your mind' so leave the past behind and start looking forward to the future. <br />
Good luck!

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I don't think it is so much some get over it and some don't it is more different people learn to deal with bad things in different ways. Often by sticking their heads in the sand and trying to pretend it never happened. Some can move on with their lives and some are stuck in the past. I think it may come down to how traumatised the person was at the time.

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Some do, some don't, have you confronted your abuser? That is teh only way to get closer, to speak openly about what happened

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i think there is only one "tried and true" way to get over it, and it's not easy or a popoular answer. here it is: Forgive your abuser(s). when you do, it will go away. do you want to know because i was successful in doing it? OK, i'll tell you. no. not completely. but the progress i have made has set me free. i'm trying to completely and honestly forgive if the Lord will let me live long enough. i think i will.

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childhood is the imprinting and formative stage of this life, 1)the emotion felt during the trauma have be expressed, not acted upon, but felt, be present with to alleviate.<br />
2) healthier thinking patterns need to replace the thinking patterns that were created during the abuse- <br />
therapy with someone you trust is vital for most people

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i have been recommended to try hypnotherapy myself... but it just made it too fresh...<br />
it might work for you! they have this technique to empower you as the process is happening of rehashing all the old memories. it just devastated me. but again... we are all different.

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Perhaps you need therapy.

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