This is the second time you've posted this in a five minute period. If you come across i.r.l. like you are here, it's no wonder women are not attracted to you.
I'm sorry! Hugs!!!
Dude. Seriously, calm it down.
If you want love so badly, then go back out there and look for it. Boom. Done. Simple as that. If you're unhappy with your situation, then just go out there and change things.