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I am pregnant and the dad walked. My dad left me at age 5 always in and out of my life it messed me up a bit. How can I avoid my child affected by this? has this happen to you in anyway?
naddiegirl naddiegirl 31-35, F 6 Answers May 29 in Parenting & Family

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Make sure that you put the dad's name on the birth certificate so that the welfare agency makes him pay child support when you collect your check from the county.

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Thank you xx but to be honest I don't want a penny from him if he does not want to be a dad then pointless me taking money from him so he can use this against me xx

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That's commendable as long as you're self supporting. But if finances are a problem and you have to go on the public dole, he should be held responsible, not the taxpayers. Health insurance alone is a huge expense and not all employers cover the cost of insuring your family these days, at least not in America they don't.

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I'm in England have free healthcare and Dental care and will work from home once the baby is born actually started my business two months ago, I'm not giving up on success just because of him leaving us, I refuse to break down chasing him for money and living on social money. I can not live that way waiting for his money, I make my own money xxx

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Best wishes to you Sweetheart!

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My mum raised all of us alone and no I never felt like I needed a dad so just make sure the people involved with your kid treat them right... Had a dad in foster care... Believe me was better without one...

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Love your child as much as you possibly can. That is all that matters to your baby. If you want to be healthy for them, you are going to have to forgive your father and the father of your child. Both of them walking had nothing to do with you. Harboring angry feelings for either will be reflected in how you approach your life. You deserve to be happy, and that is something that is only found inside of you. You want your baby to have a happy healthy childhood, so your baby is going to have to see that happiness in you. Instead of focusing on specific events that trigger those negative emotions, try generalizing the entire relationships to minimize the negative impact it has on you. Everything will be fine! You control it all.

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Thank you for your wonderful advice yes you are so right about holding onto hate this will not help me or my child at all if I hold onto hate. I need to let go xxx

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As much as it hurts or angers you to have to forgive those men, you have to do it for you. You can't be happy when your ego is in the driver seat. This is your life too. I wish you and your child the best!

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yes this has happened to me, my father walked out when I was 7 and he told me he was leaving and why. And you're right this will mess a kid up a bit, but I got over it and grew out of it. He calls every now and then most of time asking me to send him a picture of his grandchildren, saying that he made a mistake in leaving. I told me children they should draw him stick figures when they get time and we may or may not send them. I refused to be like my father and even though it was hard I stayed in my children's life even after the divorce. I have 4 kids all over 19 now (2 boys and 2 girls) all finished highschool and off doing various things and no grandchildren just yet. It's your choice on how you live your life and who you allow in or put out.

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I came out ******* amazing.

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My mom left my dad due to him being totally worthless. The man is allergic to work. I'm raising my kids on my own and they're teenagers now. Omg! It's tough I won't lie. But you can do it.

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was it worth it doing it alone? xxx

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