How did you learn to become layed back? How did you change yourself?

If you are aware that you are not "layed back" you are already on the way to change. The impulse to change comes first then the change.
It's a little bit like school. You are not in the position to deal with the answers until you have learned to ask some of the questions.

Take up some activity that gives you a good cardio work-out, like running, swimming, speed-walking, biking, etc. First half of the workout, define your problems. Second half of the workout, formulate solutions. You'd be amazed at easy it is to solve problems and quit worrying about things when your heart is pumping and the endorphins kick in. Exercise is the best thing I've found to attack a troubled mind.

Hi LawRaJayne
Great question and you sound great too! Mesqultl is spot on! Imahag too! Laid back is as laid back does. Smile and you are halfway there. A good way of working with people is to treat them as you want them to be and encourage movement towards how you want them to be and discourage movement away. Same with yourself.
I have changed myself through a lot of introspection and time. I remember finding it hard to relax and did Yoga. really hard to be still but came in the end. Best wishes talk anytime. Yoga is good. Become calm so you can think what you want.
:)

Just keep repeating this over & over. And moving to the south didn't hurt.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Just remember that you can't change or control everything or everyone. Pick & chose what's important and let the rest go. give things time to work themselves out and don't jump to fast.

Why bark when a growl will do?

You need to find out why you are like this. You did not say your age but I am assuming you are young and single.
People can always change - sometimes that person may need to be evaluated by a MD to see if there is a medical issue/ Then maybe a counselor could also see why you behave the way you do. There are ways to cope with this and to be a happy person you need seek assistance to solve the problem

Is there anything in your life you particularly enjoy that relaxes you? A long walk? A song you love? A favorite movie? Take the feeling you get while you are doing that and use it as a mental brake for times when you're hurtling into worry. Take a deep breath and focus on relaxing.

I used to be a worry-wart. Then I realized life is too short and things are going to happen that I can't change. I gathered the courage to do things I wouldn't normally do: small stuff like driving my car faster than the speed limit a few times, telling someone what I really thought about them and realizing that not everything turned out as bad as I imagined it would. Go skinny dipping by yourself or ask someone random to dance, even if they say no. Most people aren't going to react with shock, only mild amusement and might even laugh with you. You have to learn to laugh at yourself and admit your mistakes.

I smoke a lot of weed, that usually helps. maybe u should see a doc about getting anti anxiety meds. maybe you also need to keep yourself busy, start doing hobbies and things that you like to do, something that won't leave you much time to overthink

Be truthful to oneself.

i didn't learn to be laid back i just am....

pot helps

I agree with all the relaxation and exercise advise, it helps. From my experience, because i am a natural worrier as well, to the point that i don't just worry, i literally freak out, sometimes without need, i can say, that the best way to learn to be more "laid back" is to trust. Usually worries come from fear, we all fear something, so what helps me is to to look for evidence that things are not as bad as they seem, to think that they will be better in time and to TRUST that when the times come you will be able to make the right choices so you have no need to worry. In relationships, i guess what works is to be 100% responsible for your feelings, to never depend on the loved one to feel good, and to live the moment, share and give what you feel. It's not easy, It is hard to change, I'm trying to do that too.

I think I was just like you and I didn't know this secret til I was in my twenties. But most of the people who you are comparing yourself to that you think are so cool cause they are so laid back are weed smokers- I don't care if they are 12 or 50- they smoke weed. Even religious people who you admire like this- behind the scenes what are they doing? smoking their bong.

Please I beg of you to accept yourself as you are. You will become laid back the more you gain skills, the more you grow in character as a good person, and the more confidence you gain. And the confidence you have will have a solid foundation- you will have earned it, not got it the easy way by smoking dope- which no matter how cool it looks is not good for you.

I can tell you story after story of all the cool kids I admired, all the cool christians I admoired, and who all the adults all admired. They had one thing in common that no one knew about and they were fooling everyone: weed.

But the kids who have long term success and character in life earn it the hard way.