You have done the right thing by going to individual therapy. Learning about yourself and how to communicate is very important. However, you can't let your partner blame you for the needs that you have. You have found that the lack of intimacy has already made you feel worse about yourself. The longer it goes on, the worse you feel. You will end up hurting your partner more by going outside the relationship to fill the hole in your life than doing all you can now to fix it or find someone more compatible.

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She is probably angry.<br />
If you still love her, try to get her to open up about the issues, and be prepared to listen and keep quiet even when it hurts.<br />
There are loads of self-help books on communication skills and how to resolve conflicts.<br />
If you get the problems solved, arrange a date for a day of quality time together, doing things you both really enjoy, but not too energetic.<br />
At the end of the day either take her to her favourite kind of food (not expensive), <br />
or cook something delicious and healthy (not too much)<br />
offer to give her a massage (have the place and equipment already prepared and nicely warm.<br />
If that doesn't get her in the mood...<br />
well maybe better to quit an find a better match.

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I doubt it is just you. After children, most women do the "we need to be quiet, or the children will hear us," routine. I could only imagine how hard it is for women to deal with "Mom" hearing it. (I'd have a hard time with that myself.) It's been two years and she's been cooling off for a year. Maybe the relationship doesn't work for her. Maybe mom doesn't like you and is undermining your relationship. I have no way of knowing. You can probably make a pretty good guess.<br />
<br />
Regardless, if she isn't showing any affection, it is time to see a counselor and determine if the relationship is worth continuing. Good luck.

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Your not wrong man, I was in one of these and it was friggin weird wanting to touch and feel and kiss someone that never gave back, dumped her and moved on.

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Oh, wow, living with her mom is a big thing. I can only imagine how annoying it can be! You have all the right to have your needs met in a relationship. Relationships are a two-ways street. I read that you have tried to communicate with your partner about the lack of affection. I would give it some time. If it doesnt change, I would move on.

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See a marriage Counselor.....but make it work at any cost! I myself don't believe in divorce, I believe that when you marry someone that you do everything in the world to work it out together. I really frown on people who divorce!!!!

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I am actually currently seeing a counselor for behavioral modification to stop my negative patterns before doing any serious damage to my relationship. I agree with you that if two people really do love each other they would work together to make it work. I do believe in divorce only if all efforts have been tried and have failed, or if one is in danger from the other.

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