How do I deal with a situation in which my best friend starts dating the guy she knows I've liked for a long time?
She has been my closest girl friend for months, and has known for months that I like this guy. He is actually who I'd call my best friend. We're really close, and he knows me better than anyone.
About a month ago, I found out that she had been holding hands and kissed him, and then she revealed to him that I had feelings for him. When I confronted her, she promised me that they would just be friends because she didn't want to lose my friendship and she loved me so much and I was so important to her.
A couple nights ago, she told me that after we get back from spring break, they are going to start dating. She said she has developed feelings for him over the month or so since the initial incident, and he's asked her out numerous times and now she said yes.
They both knew about my feelings, and they know this hurts me. He told me he doesn't want to lose me, I'm his best friend, he loves me, all of that. I don't want to lose them, but I don't know if I should forgive them for this.
7 Answers to "How do I deal with a situation in which my best friend starts dating the guy she knows I've liked for a long time?"
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You can't call dibs on human beings.
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This a hard one, and I'm so sorry you were hurt. I'm just guessing, obviously, but ba
sed upon what you've said, this is what I think happened:
He loves you, as a friend. You don't say he has ever approached you romantically, although he has asked your friend out before and she had been turning him down (probably out of loyalty to you).
She told him about your feelings, so that if he returned them, this was his chance to go and tell you so. She actually may've done you a favour; a false friend, knowing you liked him, might've kept quiet rather than risk sending him to you.
With that information, he still pursued her. As much as he loves you and values your friendship, she's the one for whom he has romantic feelings. Unless there's a piece I'm missing, neither betrayed you, as difficult as this is for all of you.
You might need to be away from them while you heal, but if you can, try to avoid burning the bridges completely. You may want to resume your friendship when the feelings for him pass (and they will). Good luck.Like (1)
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You should've gone for him when you had the chance.
I guess your high and mighty pride stopped you from doing it?
Now start looking for another guy.
Even if you get this guy, it's going to be a rough ride, so better start afresh.Like (1)
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He might like you but you are obviously in the friend zone and not anything else. Either be okay with it or cut your losses. Its kinda crappy what she has done but she did tell him and he obviously choose her with that knowledge so you have no shot with him (you can't own someone by means of nomination). If you ever do get him you will know you where his second choice if at all.
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Get use to it or get a new friend
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sleep with him behind her back,,,,,,,
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Best Answer (Chosen by Voting):
Posted by stephaniebis Mar 16th, 2013 at 2:37PM
I think I'd move on or at least, not see either of them for a while. They sound very inconsiderate, and you're worth far more than that.
Find some new friends, and someone to love.
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