That's how I feel about casinos. They use me, and take all my money, but somehow I always keep coming back dreaming, and hoping this time it will be different. then I get my butt kicked and I loose all the rent money. It's not all bad sometimes the slot machines pay pretty well, but it always keeps me guessing if I'm going to be treated nicely or they are just going to take all my money. Deep inside I know that if I was smart I would just leave, but there is always that one hope that this one machine feels like its about to hit and I want to hang on to that dream, even though I know the odds are against me.
I hope you understand the analogy.
Now that is an answer.
It sounds like you are making excuses. I can't tell you what to do it's ultimately up to you. Whatever you do I hope it's the right choice, but I'm not going to sit here and convince you not to. Choose wisely though.
Where IS this mythic place where the women put up with endless abuse and call it love? I think I want to move there. I really WOULD be God's gift to Women in a place like that, though I'd also probably need a gun... :P
They are usually at ***** clubs, nigh clubs,disco's, and bars. Where the rest of the girls with low self esteem are.
Nah, not my scene anymore. My instinct on this is that she's either in some hick town or not in North America.
I'm sorry, but this whole thing sounds like an effing train wreck. You're asking for advice on "making it work," when it is so obviously NOT workable. If you just read over what you've written here, that should be plain as day to you.
I know you don't want to hear this but it will not get better. Sweetie,seriously,research domestic emotional abuse-sadly you can't alone 'make it work'. It takes two.
That said,I know that you won't leave him till you're ready. Till you really know it for yourself. I understand not giving up love easily no matter how flawed. I've been there-twice unfortunately. Take care eh :)
Why is it that when _I_ find women willing to put up with abuse, they always want to tell me how to abuse them?
Seriously child, your boyfriend is an ******* and any long-term relationship with him is likely to end horribly. I know I "shouldn't" call a grown woman a child, but you're acting like one so it fits.
The anger is a HUGE red flag, especially if it's triggered by you asking questions. The only reason for getting so annoyed about it is if he's got something to hide. I can see not being in the mood, but going ballistic about it is suspect. He's probably ******* around on you. Either that or he's lying about other things.
Lose that piece of **** and get some counseling.
You're obsessed with him, not in love, and it's likely because of emotional scars left over from your upbringing.
You can cling to the soul-destroying drama of it all and end up dragged down, beat up, demoralized, broken and alone in 5 years, living in some woman's shelter and wondering how you could ever have been so stupid, or you can get some self-respect and ditch the moron.
He ALREADY KNOWS how he makes you feel. He counts on it and gets off on it.
If that's true, you need to get outta town.
So do it. I don't believe you though. Just because every male you know is an *******, doesn't mean there isn't someone you haven't met around who isn't. Whatever you end up doing, I think you should take a self-defense class and/or some kind of confidence training.
break it off
deal with it
be incontrol over him
do councilling togethr?????
I'm not sure what culture you are a part of, but from your replies to the advice you've been given here, I don't think anyone here can help you.
Seriously, in most cultures, the guy would have been dumped a looong time ago. Since it is almost a taboo for you to do that, I think you should ask a trusted friend, or your mother or aunt for this advice. If they too have been putting up with it for so long, they will have answers. Although you may not like the answers you will get, they will be in keeping with your cultural beliefs.
If you don't agree with it, you can rebel, but that too has it's price.
Read my lips..
YOU CANNOT CHANGE HIM.
You either love him and accept him as he is, or you go on.
He will also get worse after you are married, if you make the mistake of doing that.
All the answers here are honest answers. We can't all be wrong about this.
I feel like you are frustrated because we aren't telling you what you want to hear.. whatever that would be.
I have a feeling that you already know what you need to do.
Breakups are incredibly hard, but you really need to quit cold turkey. Just stop. No more on and off.
If you choose to keep this up, then you do it at your own peril. There is no way for this relationship to end well.
Youn are an adult, and you know this, whether you want to admit it or not.
well frank enough and i could be incorrect. looks like you are questioning either your safety or soundness of mind. it either comes across like he really wants sex you cant give him but you can give him a fight that works just as well for the both of you but you wonder about the definition of domestic violence as does he and how you come across and might come across to an offspring. heres what you can do, search the net for every article about science explaining sexual intercourse and cover your *** take the article to an all path or osteo tell them whats going on take him with you and seee what they say because next visit they are gonna ask about domestic violence in the home anyway and you dont wanna look like a liar, so be honest and if he wont go, he is scared.
My dear don't hit the brick wall with your head....get out of that relationship while you have the chance. You're not going to have the opportunity to improve yourself. People like him needs to live alone. Being with someone should show respect, understanding, trust and love........not to live with fear, intimidation and dominance. Don't looked down on yourself.........have that edge and feel good.
End the relationship. Thank goodness you're not in the same location.
yell back, get in his face, blow up. then about the time he gets the shocked look say now you know how I feel.
Of course, he could just kill you if you won't take his bullying.
I don't see where you have a relationship to work on here. Ya, lets start our life with me afraid of you, every time I want to talk, you sceam me into submission. Sounds lovely.
No sweety, I am not laughing at you, I am in fear for you. Yelling back was a serious comment or suggestion, and the potential response was my after thought. Anyone I have ever seen do this, it is because they are bullying plain and simple. There is no other excuse for it. There is a slight chance, show him how it looks from your end, but by the same token, he could go over the edge on you. Were you my daughter, I would be scared to death for you.
I wish you did too, one who would sit you down and tell you how a love should be and that he would rather die than see you unhappy. That you were the love of his life from the day you were born, and who ever won your hand would have to be a hell of a lot better than your selecting.
I was reading a news story about a girl who was denied by a judge going back to her sbusive boyfriend who had shot her in the head. She wanted to go back to a guy who had shot her in the head with a gun.
My only real concern in such cases is that they don't breed and force more degenerates on society.