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I know I'm abusive to my family; physically and mentally. I know it is causing all of us to be stressful, unhappy and I want to stop, but I haven't been able to fix myself by myself. My parents had this same problem but after they separated for 3 years, it didn't happen anymore. I love my family and I don't want to repeat that!!! To prevent from blowing up I use a few tools: I lose myself in computer games, go work out, go drive, stay at work late. But I still have the urge to explode on my family when certain conditions ocur; no money in the bank, money spent on crap, trashed house, dirty kitchen, trashed car, garage a mess, sustained stupidity on any basic subject. Then when I get really upset, my spouse tries to prevent me from leaving the house, which doesnt go well. We're not completely dysfunctional as we still go out as a family every other week. I think I was worse when we were first married, I didn't try to control myself at all before. I'm trying but it's not enough.
cognizance cognizance 31-35 11 Answers Jul 22, 2012

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I think that u should tell them to fix the cleaning problems and work a chart for that an u should get a counsler. Or just talk to someone about ur Avnet to get it out. Blowing up on people is not the way to go. Cuz ur wife will divorce u. I've seen it many times and I'm only a kid.

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Dude it sounds like your on of those "My Way Or No Way" people. Does Blowing your top, deposit any money into the Bank Account? No. Everyones house don't look like it belongs in "Better Homes & Garden" It sounds like you have this unrealistic view of how things are supposed to be. You need to go visit a professional. ASAP before you lose everything.

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I don't think the answer lies in alienating yourself from your family. Issues arise in families everyday, we can only control what we can control, so if we can't there's no point in stressing over it, issues such as a dirty kitchen or trashed house, hell pick up a broom and dust rag and help. Maybe you need some anger therapy, you definitely need to stop taking it out on them. If all else fails, breathe and walk away for a few.

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Yeah you don't want to mess up your kids, that is not good. <br />
I suggest you have to find another way to vent your anger. <br />
Creative writing. Journal your anger out on paper. <br />
Go for a Jog. find somebody (an adult) to <br />
talk to. Try Prayer. Try Meditation. Try going out to the <br />
woods and screaming at a tree or something until your <br />
anger is gone. So something But dont screw up your kids with this.

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Good question. There's the cliche answers like breathing and whatnot...but maybe trying to get to the root of your behaviours and talk it out with someone might be appropriate?

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What ever you are doing to "prevent yourself from blowing up" Is not working and it's not nearly enough. I applaud you for being honest enough to acknowledge your seriously distructive behavior. You cannot fix it alone. You didn't mention anything about going for help with your anger. I'm assuming you have not. The fact is, you might not be as nad as you once were, but, your irrational behavior has already had a negative impact on others and still has.They must have to walk on eggshells. That quality of life sucks. I lived with a mother all my life who was like you. It really messed me up. It gets deep into a kids psyche. She couldn't see the harm she was doing to me.Took me a long time to fix the damage she caused. You have no right to expect your family to wait for you to get better. You must seek outside help. You can't justify anything becaue you go out as a family occasionally. You are brave enough to admit your problem now have the guts to get help.

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why dont you try to work together with you wife and child? i mean, try to clean the house togehther, make a meal together, and share some idea on how to improve your life...<br />
you should also appreciate them to be with you...<br />
try to think how they feel when you just burst out your anger on them....

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Baby you need outside help and medication to control your anger

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