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My mind is broken. It has been broken for a long time and I can't remember what it was like when it was whole. Sometimes the world just goes all strange and I don't know what's real anymore, if anything is real. My thoughts speed up and hurl themselves around inside my head and I can't grab hold of one; I can't isolate them from each other, it's just noise. I get so confused and afraid. I have been trying for so long, so hard, to put it back together. I just don't know what to do. I am terribly afraid of living like this for decades. I am so afraid that I think of killing myself often - the only thing is that death scares me more. I have nightmares. I'm wide open to suggestions. I won't discount anything. Except Jesus - don't suggest him, please. I need help and am asking for it so please, tell me anything you can think of. [A couple of hours later] Thank you so much to everyone who has replied. Each of you has made a difference. Being heard makes a difference.
adjyo adjyo 31-35, F 13 Answers Jun 6, 2009

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I'm with Jenny. As a long-time Bipolar bear, I can tell you that the illness is very treatable. But whatever it is you've got - GET HELP. A therapist, meds, counseling, self-education, etc. You don't need to live this way.

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I think you should learn how to meditate. The mind is like a wild tiger, for wont of a better simile. Meditating will let you come to grips with the speed and fragmented feeling. Make sure you have somewhere comfortable to sit.

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I know exactly what you mean. I'm going through the same stuff right now. I have a therapist but it feels like its going no where. She suggested religion and I just lost all respect for her. I'm not religious and I don't plan to be. I don't really have a suggestion for you, but wanted to tell you I can be someone to talk to if you need to just vent. I'm feeling more and more overwhelmed and out of control myself each day and talking it out helps sometimes.....<br />
I wish you the best of luck

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don't pay attention on it much adjyo... you are still a normal person and please believe so..

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Please go and seek professional help urgently.

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