Any time my kids get attitude they lose it shortly after they lose Ipod, tv, vid game privledges. If they haven't lost it by then, my cupboard is full of food they hate.
Every house has an Alpha. Don't let your kids take that role from you.
Kids at that age can be very self centered. Try to get them involved in some kind of volunteer service if you can. They actually enjoy helping others once they are doing it and the activity widens their view of the world - no it doesn't revolve around them.
I'm sure it will help. Best of luck mommy!! :)
Wait about 12 years
Tell her that if she is going to act like that you will put yourself in time out. Do this while she is doing ok acting right.Then later when she is doing the attitude thing don't say a word just go up to your room turn on the TV or radio take a bath read a book what ever. I would bet she would be knocking the door down to get into you. The deal is she wants to control you. If she gets ignored or she isn't getting the response she has come to enjoy it will end. This is the fastest way to fix things many times.
With a LOT of patience, and giving the good example that you want her to imitate.
I think (and hope) this is a natural phase for kids. I have a boy around the same age and the things he says to me and his mom shock me. I know if I said the same thing to my parent's I would be swiftly put in my place. I also see it with his friends and their parents. I know kids do often test their boundaries around that age. One thing I try to do is be very consistent with them and be sure to check with his mom when he tests them with me so one of us doesn't contradict the other.
you definitely need to work with your hb to be on the same page or at least talk about things so you are on the same page for the major things - bed time, homework, curfews, etc. tell him he needs to stand by you with the kids even if he disagrees. if that doesn't work, do the same thing to him once in a while so he knows how it feels. teaching the kids how to do things is only part of being a good parent. The other part is teaching to grow up to be good people and do the right things.
well maybe that can stp if you talk to her more and if she or he says stay out of my life then tellem them u cant becus ur suppose to be with her till shes or hes 18
well then just tell her why cant u just respect me im ur mom u dont know what i have been through ill do everything for u and this is what i get bak but also maybe tell her if anyhing is going around school that might be the problem
Be firm but fair and if she doesn't listen to you then you ignore her, and she doesn't get her way. Simple. If she shouts and screams ignore her until she can argue whatever she's trying to argue calmly and rationally, preferably with some courtesy.
Good luck! If you find a way to do this you will make a fortune when you write the book!
I think it just a phase. I know I went through that as well.
Set rules that everyone in the household must follow - everyone, including yourself. Put it in writing. Also write down what the penalties are. This is only a start though. Just don't kill her yet though. It will pass, but your hair color will likely change.
Time out, grounding, loss of cell phone or tv privelges, she won't lose it but she'll make sure she not taking it out on you.
hahhaha.. really? well.. ok this is a loaded question. But I work with kids and have some experience with this.. and you are not gonna like the answer...
First, you have to get real with yourself and look at how YOU respond to her. Do you remember what it was like to be ten? Do you have experiences that she could draw upon? Funny or eye rolling stories of what a pains in the arse YOUR parents were?
How do you react when she does or says something YOU don't like. THat is first.
Second, change things up. She is a natural born button pusher. Kids do what they want when they want... because they know YOU and how to get what they want. If it is something she wants, do you eventually give in to shut her up? What parent hasn't? When you change your reactions that she is used to she will have to regroup. The trick to great parenting is to show them that you are one step ahead, always, and don't be afraid to show them that you really ARE as awesome as you say you are. After all, you have the benefit of experience, and you really DO understand what she is going through, and will go through.
Super creative discipline, set boundaries and real consequences that you follow through on. The number one complaint of teens I work with is "They don't know me. They don't care and they never do what they say they are going to do"
The book that I reccommend for the kids and their parents is this :http://www.alibris.com/booksearch?browse=0&keyword=parenting+your+out+of+control+teenager&mtype=B&hs.x=-1071&hs.y=-81&hs=Submit
Its cheapest on Alibris.com, but make sure you never let the kids see your copy. You will understand why when you start reading. I recommend this book for one reason.. it worked with my out of control mouthy almost criminal behaving ten year old.. and it still works today, now that she is fifteen.
The parents of the teens I work with agree, it is that good, IF you do your part and follow through.
from your replies,i can see that the person to blame is your husband. not ur daughter.As your husband ridicules you ,they disrespect u.Its time u win your daughter to you side. You should have dne this
earlier.Anyways,its better late than never.First b friendly with her,try to see things from her perspective,let her do things her way.And when she becomer close to u,coz of what you have allowed her to do,she wil open upto you better,understand you and start listening to u,obeying you and come your way.
its probably only gonna get worse lol :P
yeah, maybe when they become older they'll realise.. but i cant really talk, im 14 lol