I'm sorry for you and your unborn son, what a cruel thing to do out of spite. My suggestion is go seek out a qualified therapist and learn to deal with the pain and loss you are going through. Some think that it's being weak to go to therapy, but it take incredible strength to know you need help that can only come from someone trained in dealing with such monumental things. Good luck, and if you need to talk, message me.

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You know the gender ? That's not generally information available within the first trimester. Not trying to be insensitive, but I'm wondering what you've been told.

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I don't see anything about first trimester anywhere in his question.

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It was a hope of son

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If what you're saying is true then she's not a good person to be around. You made a mistake being with her. That said you're a young guy and that's understandable. Chalk it up to inexperience, break all contact with her, and move on with your life. What's done is done.

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If she cheated on you, how do you know it was your son?

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She became pregnant with me but decided to have someone else

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How do you know it was yours? Not that it makes it any less tragic she would have an abortion for what appears to be incredibly selfish reasons, but...

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the devestation must really b takn a toll on u...bt u hav to luk at it as it was meant ta b lyk that. the baby was better off being aborted. the mother would hav probably ben a horrible mother. the baby would hav probably been extremely miserable. she is an evil woman. and things that hurt this bad hav major purpose.

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I know men and women can do hurtful things out of spite, however; it's so hard to believe she'd have an abortion for that reason. I'm assuming she's in your age range so being so young, I'm sure she weighed the pros and cons carefully before making such a tough decision. To be a good parent, she was probably concerned about having adequate housing, education, money, health, emotional support, stability, a loving extended family, etc for the child. Sounds like she was afraid, feeling alone knowing these things couldn't be provided from her point of view. Grieving is a part of moving forward... she's grieving too while her body is healing from the abortion.

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I am very sorry for your terrible and tragic loss, especially as you were once so close. Human beings are capable of great evil. My suggestion to you is, remember that your baby son is now in a place of happiness. Do not close your heart to love, but learn and grow from your experience.

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It is far too late now to get your head on straight for the abortion has taken the child. Legally she had no right to abort without your permission unless she can prove through DNA tests that the child was not yours. Conversely the same test would have proved that you were the father.<br />
In any case you had legal rights here that you could have excercised but did not. Consider it as a terrible fact in your life and hopefully move on.

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If he's in the U.S., that's incorrect; there are no states where an adult woman is obliged to get the man's consent before an abortion, not even her spouse. The law still recognises the sovereignty of a woman's body.

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I stand corrected. I have confused the many petitions of father's rights groups as being implemented by by state laws. They are not at this moment.

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Best suggestion I've got is to thank God that a woman like that isn't in your life anymore... that's about the most awful thing I've ever heard of someone doing.

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I am so sorry. That must hurt.

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