I've been depressed myself to the point of suicide, but was divorced at the time so I can't say for certain what it would take to get your spouse to understand your behavior. In my case I had my friends and family to talk to about everything and that helped a lot.
I'm a very happy guy today and much happier than ever before. I was a happy guy before divorce but didn't realize that I could be even happier than that! My depression has made me a better man than ever before. I am more empathic, caring, and sensitive than ever before.
Anyway, my family was very tolerant of my depression because I'm sure that seeing me that way was hurting them inside. I talked about suicide openly, my hate for my ex wife, and all the other problems going on at the time. As I got all that stuff off my chest, I began to heal little by little.
If I were you, I'd ask your husband if he wouldn't mind sitting down with you and listining to what you want to say to him about how you feel and anything else on your mind. Tell him that you feel very depressed and you need someone to listen without trying to fix anything. If he won't listen then write to me because I want to be the one to help you. It would be my honor! :)
talk to him, go somewhere quite and open up, explan how you feel and ask for his understanding.
It isn’t going to be easy for you *IF* he is totally unaware.
You can’t ‘see’ depression, in a lot of cases, and you can’t put a band-aid on depression. What some people cannot see is (sometimes) what some people can’t understand. I don’t say that for you to lose Hope.
The simplest answer is to say that you sit and talk with him; tell him your worries, your concerns and your anxieties. You shouldn’t have to go through this alone (in an ideal world) and your husband should play his part in trying to help. But he can *only* help if you are totally up-front with him; it’s surprising how easily we can hold back the full extent of how we feel to our partners, but depression (by design) can often stop us from being totally honest.
Speak with him, tell him you *need* his love, his care, his patience and his support, because this is exactly what you need.
I have a brother in law who exhibits depression. The thing is, it seems like he is doing it on purpose. Somehow you need to keep explaining that it's not on purpose, and that it's not directed at him personally. And maybe what he could do to help. People don't know what to do when it seems that someone is pushing them away.