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I know he's probably going to read this, but I need some help and I don't know what to do. He always helps me out and is always there for me when I need someone, there's not always something to physically do, but just being around him helps. Let's me know I'm not alone and someone is there to help me if I need it. That means the world to me, I've had no one for most of my life and to just have *someone* means everything, but he doesn't feel like he's doing anything to help. What do I do? I've tried to tell him, but he blows it off as just sentimental value; like it doesn't mean anything. How do I make him feel like he really is helping me? I try to thank him for always being there, but it kind of hurts when he blows it off and insists he didn't do anything and should have done something... I don't know what to do.... Help?
LostLotus LostLotus 18-21, F 14 Answers Dec 4, 2011

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Put it in writing. You did so quite splendidly in your desc<x>ription above So do it again, only give it to him personally in writing. A concrete action somehow helps to make the concept more concrete.

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I know what you are going through in reverse though. My best answer to you is thank him and talk to him if you can. If you really cannt do it with a thank you card. He will read it and will be able to read it again. Then maybe it might sink in. My prayers are with you. Good luck

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You are so very right. Having friends are part of sharing , and no friends you are alone an often sad.

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Its the difference between men and women. For women emotional part is more important. Guys don't really get it. If they're faced with a problem or see someone they care about suffer, they want to do something to help. Sitting around and just being there in their eyes equals to doing nothing.<br />
If he reads all this, it will be good. He has to understand that difference exists and for a woman just being there sometimes means so much more than someone would be running around trying to do something.<br />
Maybe give him a book to read called "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus". Its a curious read.

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Write him a letter about how you feel. Some people don't like taking credit for being helpful. They believe it is just the right thing to do so they shouldn't be overly acknowledged for it. My hubby is that way and times I don't get it either. They can also get embarrassed when complimented.

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Be there for him, the same way he is there for you.

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Tell him by name from your name. Geez!!!

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Tell them!

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Look him directly in the eyes, say, "Thank you for caring and being here for me." Then hug him. That should help.

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Try all of the above advice, and add to it a concrete manifestation of your gratitude and affection... Does he love homemade cookies? Make him a batch of his favorite. He works long hours, and hasn't had a chance to run a certain errand? Run it for him... Or make him a home cooked meal... For most men actions speak much louder than words. They show their love by doing things for us (even if it isn't something we wanted :P), so the best way to show them appreciation is the same way. If you are sick, or disabled, and can't do any of the things I mentioned, wrack your brain and see if you can find something you can do that he would appreciate... Give it a shot, and let us know how it goes!!!

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Get him a gift and keep reassuring him.

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