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TSelina TSelina 36-40 4 Answers Jun 15, 2012

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Being someone's dad is more important than being someone's bf, that should be his focus because who that child becomes is influenced by THIER parent/child relationship as well as the relationship between the parents. He helped to create the situation, he should be the one to help resolve it. Good luck, you have a difficult row to hoe.

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So you are telling me when I have kids I should not establish a relationship of my own because my child is my life..BS!

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No, I am saying that when you have a child that being a parent changes your priorities. My relationship with my husband comes first because that is necessary to raise our children with love and respect. Because your boyfriend is not with his child's mom his relationship with his child is separate than his relationship with you. His daughter is a CHILD and you, I hope, are an adult. You can take care of yourself, she can not. If he is not man enough to take care of his children he's no man at all. And yes, working out a good relationship with the baby mama is part of being a man. And I hope if you have kids you have them with a guy who'll be there for you and your children. What have I said that is wrong? Or is it that I didn't say you should come first? Oh, we'll, I wasn't mean, just telling you that a child's needs are more important than yours.

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Extacly, if you as a parent is not functional how can your raise a child, married single or dating. I do understand the mom not respecting our relationship becuase I am the second gf in 5 yrs so she may be thinging this will end also but she should never force her child on him. i know a child has greater needs than I have but what I am saying is if he and I are together why does she insist on pushing her daughter on him and making him feel badly when he wants to spend time with me?
I am a strong black woman and I would never chase my child father for time, money, or anything. I have many friends raising their kids alone, if the dad wants to be apart of their lives they allow it and it not they pick up the slack.
Yo said nothing wrong, I asked the question to get feed back...thx

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Then you will probably be a good mom when the time comes :-) Unfortunately, the girls mom is making things tough and that's just the way it is for you right now. I am sorry for that. For you and for the girl. Really, he is going to have to step up and direct this one, its his job as a dad and as your bf. And I really do mean good luck with no sarcasm at all. It's just a tough situation for everyone it sounds like. ~Peace

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tell him to spend more time with his daughter........that's how it should be

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I never have a problem with him spending time together....but he has to love her thats his child, and he chooses to love me, and if he doesnt give our relationship the quality time it needs to grow they it wont work.
besides in a few years she will be off to college and he will be a lonley single man.

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how is it he must make himself available when ever she has plans but when he has plans they should be put on hold?
thats BS

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he is a grown man, he will do what he wants inspite of what I do or say, but I can tell you one thing, I will not be spending my qt time with anyone other than him.

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YOU really don't, you let him handle it and make sure he does or it will just get worse.

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Mmm
The other day her and her mom was in the mall when they saw us, this ***** is going to say, wow, its obvious you are not over me, your new girlfriend surely looks alot like me.
I wanted to answer and said no ***** you are the one not moving on, its been 5 years and you still hoping or a second child.
I know that if he doesnt I will leave, it has happened in the past.

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That's sad...can you imagine being so insecure. I have a friend that went through this but what's even worse is now that she and he have broken up she's doing the same thing that was done to HER. I blame her ex for not dealing with it. But still that behavior just sucks.

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The thing is when the 3 of us are together his daughter acts up when we hold hand, which is understandable she is 5, if we kiss she wants to get between us, even though he is sitting between both of us. i know she doenst understand the relatiosnhip we have so that why I dont spend time with them. I just hate that her mom forces her on him when he has already said to her he cant watch her. if he is out making money she doesnt insist on him watching her but as long as it me she bitching...

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