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My boyfriends daughter moved in with him in November. She told him that her mom had kicked her out. Her mom's story was that she told her follow the rules or leave. While she hasn't lived with him in the past he has supported her financially and she has always visited. At the time he was getting ready to move in with me. I decided that because of her issues I would not put my kids thru this turmoil. I put our plans to move in together on hold. Her behavior has been challenging to say the least. She refuses to go to school. Won't follow the house rules and treats her dad like he is her personal slave. When he tries to punish her she demands to go visit her mom where she can do what she wants. Last night, after several days of her refusing to follow his rules he told her that she had two choices. Follow the rules or leave. She basically called him every horrible name she could think of told him she never wanted to see him again and moved back to moms.
alileigh alileigh 41-45, F 5 Answers Jan 27, 2012

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You can't, other than be there for him. Without knowing all the details, it's hard to give any advice in this situation. But I can tell you I've been there......still there. I'm not the custodial parent, so I get simple visitation rights...you know, every other weekend, evenings on Wednesday, half the summer, etc. My son has become a problem for her and even I. But only because he doesn't live with me so it's kind of hard to discipline a child not under the same roof. Because I, the father am more the disciplinarian and implement more responsibilities, he rather be home with his mom where he can practically get away with murder and she would never give up the monthly child support. <br />
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When he was at the peak of his problems, she finally let him live with me a school quarter. Straight "F" to Straight "A" student he became. That screwed with her pride, plus I can tell she hated giving me my monthly child support back during his time with me...so she demanded him back. Nothing I could do about it, since I am not the custodial parent. I took her to court again and presented the judge the report card and his change in behavior while with me....but it meant nothing. It devastated me for a while...still does as it feels like my son has a life of doom awaiting him. <br />
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At any rate, he did good by standing his ground... unfortunately it was towards the end. Often times in shared parenting, the child takes advantage of the situation. It only works when both the parents work together, even if they are in different homes. As they say, once married...always married (when there's a child involved.)<br />
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But nothing my current wife could do or can do. But, she was a great listener.

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It sounds very familiar. She did better in school when she was living with him. He has always felt like her mom doesn't expect enough. As a mom its pretty obvious to me that that is a big part of her problem.
He felt like her mom was putting pressure on her to come back to her house. She let it slip to me once that her mom and her had argued about her not living with her. Basically her mom told her a joint custody arrangement "wasn't good enough." It was obvious that she didn't mean to say it. When I asked "good enough for what?" she wouldn't say. My BF already suspected that her mom was putting pressure on her to come back because of the loss of child support. My assumption was that it was not good enough because the court would reduce or eliminate his child support if she spent too much time with her dad.
There are concerns of neglect at her moms. Not enough to make a case for going against her wishes. I wonder if her behavior could be because she feels like a meal ticket.

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Possibly, but if anything it's a minor contribution. How old is she?

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Say nothing.Just be there for him and let him open his soul to you.

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WHAT! The Serb has a sweet side- Excuse me- I have to put on a coat. I think hell just froze over ;)

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stupid questions - stupid answers
serious questions - serious answers
Maj is a mirror

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