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You can't, other than be there for him. Without knowing all the details, it's hard to give any advice in this situation. But I can tell you I've been there......still there. I'm not the custodial parent, so I get simple visitation rights...you know, every other weekend, evenings on Wednesday, half the summer, etc. My son has become a problem for her and even I. But only because he doesn't live with me so it's kind of hard to discipline a child not under the same roof. Because I, the father am more the disciplinarian and implement more responsibilities, he rather be home with his mom where he can practically get away with murder and she would never give up the monthly child support. <br />
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When he was at the peak of his problems, she finally let him live with me a school quarter. Straight "F" to Straight "A" student he became. That screwed with her pride, plus I can tell she hated giving me my monthly child support back during his time with me...so she demanded him back. Nothing I could do about it, since I am not the custodial parent. I took her to court again and presented the judge the report card and his change in behavior while with me....but it meant nothing. It devastated me for a while...still does as it feels like my son has a life of doom awaiting him. <br />
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At any rate, he did good by standing his ground... unfortunately it was towards the end. Often times in shared parenting, the child takes advantage of the situation. It only works when both the parents work together, even if they are in different homes. As they say, once married...always married (when there's a child involved.)<br />
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But nothing my current wife could do or can do. But, she was a great listener.

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It sounds very familiar. She did better in school when she was living with him. He has always felt like her mom doesn't expect enough. As a mom its pretty obvious to me that that is a big part of her problem.
He felt like her mom was putting pressure on her to come back to her house. She let it slip to me once that her mom and her had argued about her not living with her. Basically her mom told her a joint custody arrangement "wasn't good enough." It was obvious that she didn't mean to say it. When I asked "good enough for what?" she wouldn't say. My BF already suspected that her mom was putting pressure on her to come back because of the loss of child support. My assumption was that it was not good enough because the court would reduce or eliminate his child support if she spent too much time with her dad.
There are concerns of neglect at her moms. Not enough to make a case for going against her wishes. I wonder if her behavior could be because she feels like a meal ticket.

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Possibly, but if anything it's a minor contribution. How old is she?

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Say nothing.Just be there for him and let him open his soul to you.

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WHAT! The Serb has a sweet side- Excuse me- I have to put on a coat. I think hell just froze over ;)

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stupid questions - stupid answers
serious questions - serious answers
Maj is a mirror

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