How do I know If my best guy friend likes me back when I am terrible at reading the signs? Please, men and women, help!
I am 26, he 32. He & I were acquaintances 8 yrs back & we recently became reacquainted through a mutual friend. In 4 months of friendship we've become really close, spend most of our free time together, & as I've come to finally realize, we flirt a lot. We've both endured a lot since we first knew each other, he divorce, child custody, & hardships, and my fiance passed away 1 1/2 years back & I've dealt with hardships of my own. He has helped me to laugh again & enjoy life--I never thought I could love again, so this brings me great joy. The closer we've gotten, the more time I spend with his 10 yr old daughter & the rest of his family as well. He has never referred to me as a friend, perhaps he thinks of me as more? He shows he cares for my well-being, is a gentleman, and pays for me most of the time we hang out. I am afraid to make a move because I love what we have, but I want more. He is shy, kind, generous, hilarious, & intelligent: we mesh so well! Does he want more too? Help!
7 Answers to "How do I know If my best guy friend likes me back when I am terrible at reading the signs? Please, men and women, help!"
Posted by winstonwelles Nov 7th, 2012 at 8:55PM
I can't imagine, with the history you've got, that making a move would be any kind of risk to your friendship. At worst, if he's not interested it might be awkward the next time you see him, but you'd get past it soon enough. And from what you've said, I wouldn't be at all surprised if he felt the same as you do.
You've got the advantage of being the (slightly) younger party, so you can always blame it on "immaturity"... maybe the reason he hasn't made a move himself is that he thinks he'd be taking advantage.
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Reply by Ste11aeres Nov 7th, 2012 at 9:01PM
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Reply by GoddessDeAmor Nov 7th, 2012 at 9:15PM
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Posted by ratskolnikov Nov 7th, 2012 at 8:22PM
I think that you should talk to him about it. Honestly, I am the type of girl who could come up with some crafty way to end up locked in a passionate make-out session, but that is the old me... I'm starting to think that never really got me anywhere. You are lucky you haven't hooked up with him. It makes it more real. I don't know the situation, but I did have a friend who was very in love with her best friend. She told him and he rejected her. A year later, he asked her out. All of us (her other friends) were super skeptical and worried. Another year goes by and he proposes. Now they are very happy. She talked openly to him and the worst possible result happened... but in the end it was much more important for her to be honest,
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Reply by GoddessDeAmor Nov 7th, 2012 at 9:08PM
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Posted by NegaDraven Nov 7th, 2012 at 8:20PM
Let him know how you feel, if he's a true friend and he's not interested then he'll simply inform you of that and if he is then go forward with it. There are some people that are just extremely caring and giving people and it doesn't always mean they're interested but he could be, you never know.
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Reply by GoddessDeAmor Nov 7th, 2012 at 8:42PM
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Posted by Ste11aeres Nov 7th, 2012 at 9:59PM
If he doesn't have another woman in his life, then whether he likes you or not, asking him/telling him how you feel will not damage your friendship. Trust me on this.
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Posted by zbignue Nov 7th, 2012 at 8:30PM
It's apparent that he doesn't want more at this time. He knows how to ask for more. Remember ? He was married before. It sounds like things are going just fine. Give him some more time to make his move, and if it doesn't happen within a reasonable time (in your estimation), tell him that you love him and that you want to be married to him. Tell him that he should let you know if he wants to be married to you or not. Give him a week to let you know because if he doesn't want to marry you, you are going to persue other options, because you want to be married. Until he is forced to make a decision, he will let things be as they are now because there is nothing to lose. That's how my then girl friend got me to make a commitment. When I realized that I could actually lose her, I decided I wanted to keep her.
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Reply by GoddessDeAmor Nov 7th, 2012 at 8:55PM
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Reply by winstonwelles Nov 7th, 2012 at 9:15PM
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Posted by Indie42 Nov 7th, 2012 at 8:21PM
Why don't you just ask him?
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Reply by GoddessDeAmor Nov 7th, 2012 at 8:39PM
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Reply by Indie42 Nov 7th, 2012 at 8:41PM
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Posted by Frankinweenie Nov 7th, 2012 at 8:19PM
Ask him
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