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How do I leave her?

I am a 24 f that is in a 4 year relationship w/ another female. I think ive know the whole time that she wouldnt be "the one" but I dragged it out anyway. Now that i finally realize I need to start over I cant seem to find the strentgh in me to leave! We are way too emotionally and financially dependnt on each other and it is killling me. we have animals together and share an apartment. I can move in with my sister for a month or 2 so i can save money to move on my own but something is holding me back. I love jher with all my heart but want other things and i am just sick of being a couple. If it were possible I would still want to be friends with her and all. She says it will have to be me to be the one to break us uyp since she loves me so much and cannot imagine another being with me or her loving someone else soo much! I just need the strentgh to be able to emotionally leave her or her leave me. I know im making excuses but I have been battling this with myself for months. We have openly talked it over and it always ends in tears and yelling. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Posted 5 months ago

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mzdivine

Best Answer

Make a clean break of it!....You both realise it has to be

done,so,DO IT!!

Go through the front door ,shut it behind you,and don't look back!

Have a lawyer work your belongings out!

Whatever you do,IT IS UP YO YOU!!...We can't Tell you!

Posted 5 months ago

Other 9 Answers to How do I leave her?

Yemanya	Posted Jun 22nd, 2009 at 1:05AM Muster the courage, sometimes you need to be a bit cold to be kind. You are continuing to let her invest her time and love and hope in YOU .. is that fair? If you truly care for her, be strong and GO! Let her rebuild a life with someone who wants to be with her. Rated: +1Vote for this!
reachingout63	Posted Jun 21st, 2009 at 5:03PM I think you need to ask yourself these two questions. Are my feelings going to change for her? If I continue to put this off, is it going to be even harder a few months from now? I hate to see anyone break-up and wish you could resolve your relationship, but only you can make the final decision. Good luck and God bless. Rated: +1Vote for this!
LawRaJayne	Posted Jun 21st, 2009 at 5:07PM Time can sometimes Heal.. but in this situation.. time can sometimes make it worse. You need to figure out what's best. for both of you. and if you're going to say "lets break up".. then break up. She will yell and cry because she's going to hurt. but you're going to hurt her even more if you do it to her all the time. just make a decision and carry it out. Rated: +1Vote for this!
Duana	Posted Jun 21st, 2009 at 5:39PM all I can say is the poor poor poor girl. You are obviously her trusted, beloved friend- I mean she sees it this way and you let her believe this about you when it wasn't ever true. This is so sad. I only feel sorry for her. I am sorry I can't get in your shoes. I would fess up and tell her that you don't love her and you are sorry you ever led her on. It is not one of those issues you talk about because she has nothing to do with it- she loves you and wants you to stay. It would be mean to 'talk' about it with her. Rather it is time for confession on your part. Confess, have your bag ready, and leave. Let her find true happiness and a true friend. Rated: +1Vote for this!
HumanOddity	Posted Jun 21st, 2009 at 5:46PM Sounds like you're ready to end things. Tell her it's over and go from there. Rated: +1Vote for this!
candy100	Posted Jun 21st, 2009 at 7:14PM Have you been 100% honest with her? Told her EVERYTHING you said here? Are you going to wait until you meet someone new to get you out the door? That hurt her all the more. You could ease your way out by calling it a trial separation. I think you need some time alone from your partner to gather your strength and get clear. Even if its for a week. 6 weeks would be best. Rated: +1Vote for this!
jerzeychick	Posted Jun 22nd, 2009 at 10:51AM i agree with mzdivine...........just do it. ofcourse it hurts letting go of somebody u have shared ur life with for years. but u r young...and u will find someone else. u could even be alone for awhile.....just get back to U and focus on ur next goals in life. eitha way.....u should move on. Rated: +1Vote for this!
Katiebelle	Posted Jun 23rd, 2009 at 5:36AM You don't.You've stuck it out for so long,you may as well carry on.Perhaps just go on holiday alone for two weeks,without any contact,and Im sure youll find that you actually miss her. So try this before you do something that you might regret and cant reverse.If you find that you didnt miss her at all,than break up and move on.There is NO easy way. Rated: +1Vote for this!
londongothgirl	Posted Jun 24th, 2009 at 11:35AM I just wanted to let you know I'm in the same boat. I've been with my husban 8 years and want to be on my own. We are financially dependant on each other and he is very dependant on me. I have tried to leave before and always back out at the last minute. So unfortunantly I don't know how to be brave and just do it. But I do know that if you don't it will keep eating away at you and your relationship. I've been deciding and going from yes to no on leaving my relationship for two years now. We don't really have anything left but he refuses to let it go and I keep going out of guilt and because I can't afford to leave (I don't have any family here or anyone I could go stay with). In conclusion I say you should go and just try to be strong as it will probably be best for both of you. Rated: +1Vote for this!

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