I am so sorry you and your kids are going threw this. Some states consider what your husband is doing to your kids child abuse. Maybe your state is one of them. Good-luck

He may think you are using them as weapons since you have this attitude towards him.

What 7 and 10 years should or should not see or know depends on parenting style. My child was reading about the hollocaust at just 4 years old- as a child she became an expert in it. At 8 years old she begged to go see Schindler's list. People thought I was crazy to let a child know so much about the cruelest of fates in history.

A never sheilded her from current events either in people's lives around her and told her the truth of what they are like.

Anyway the point is it is up to your husband how he wants to handle information about you. Your kids will or will not gain respect from their parents based on their actions and what attitudes and values they model, and the wise decisions they have made for themselves in life- so I do not think you have anything to worry about if you are a loving mother with her head on straight.

If you are worried they will want to go live with their dad or that the courts will take them away from you- well lawyers and judges can see through game playing- and justice will be done.

I am in the same boat my ex husband uses the kids still to this day we have been divorced for over five years and he still wont let things go and not involve them. He says things about me and calls me names when he referrers to me to them and they see things and hear talk that kid s should be protected from...Then only way to fight this is through court and mediation that's if you guys are separated....I have also come to a harsh reality that as much as I want to protect them from his words I can't that is their dad and he has a right to spend time with them and it is sad that he doesn't realize that he is hurting them and that they will resent him in the future when they are old enough to finally realize what kind of person he really is....so if you can take it to the courts fight it for your kids sake....good luck to you.

Educate them, and explain to them what is truly happening, and why. You don't need to go into the details, but you need to explain to them why he is. It's the best you can do, and in time, they'll realize the truth. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for.

You know dear there is no way to protect them from what he says.As my own children who i have stayed for when i was going to leave when they were in there teens but stayed because of my sons tears.Even now that they are older he is grasping at straws and now that he knows he has no hold on me any more.He is useing them to hurt me and get to me.And it will not work any more.But all men do this it is there way of trying to make you mind and keep there control over you.They love you for who you are and always will be dear.There mother.This is my hope with my two who are now in her 30s and so to be 29.I figure i have suffered long enough with this man.

I think it is good advice to explain to your kids: that "their Dad and you couldn't agree on some points, and the disagreement became so bad and troubling that you decided to separate to stop the fighting. And that the bad things he is saying about you are his way to continue to fight, even though you and he are apart; and to 'take it with a pinch of salt'. The things he says are his opinion only. And that you still love and care for them very much". And of course, set an example of not blackening Dad's repuation in front of them - or at any time, if you can bring yourself to do this; as what's in your mind can still transmit itself as an "atmosphere". If you can forgive and let live, it would be great; your children will pick this up.

It always makes my heart so sad to hear of people who have come together to walk a life together, and then parted acrimoniously - especially after kids have been born... The very best with it, MJM !