I think you need to find a space where you can express how you feel and where you can hear how she feels about this. Choose a good time where no-one is going to lose it because it isn't worth that. You also need to be open to the possibility that you projected a lot of negative emotion towards the friend. Maybe you can agree that for the moment, 'an effort' just means being genuinely polite.

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Thank you, very insightful. I like the genuinely polite part. Cheers

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