Resolved Question

I am realizing that I should leave him and that I should not be with him now based on things that have happened before. I had left before, but got back together later. I thought things had improved and that we could have a"new" start, we got married, and then the behavior later repeated. We have been so close before and he can be caring. I have always felt that there is hope for everyone and that people can change. I now see that I made a bad choice to get back together and try to have a life with him. We now have a baby in the picture. The couple of times that he has been physical this year were while I was pregnant and after the baby was born. He is bi-polar and has had issues with alcohol. He had been drinking and was in the middle of an episode (prompting him being committed) , we had been arguing continuously, and he grabbed me and held me down. I am realizing that I should not excuse his behavior because of these issues.. I had to have him committed twice this year and have called the police a couple of times. He is now taking meds and is on probation. He is about to be released from probation and we are going to be moving very soon. I have told him that I want to separate. He is begging me not to leave...he is always apologizing for his behavior and saying that he knows that he has a problem, is being more helpful than usual, has stopped drinking as much, says he will change for our son, tells me that he cannot make it without me, promised me that he will not abuse again (but changes that statement to "will not abuse again as long as you do not abuse me"), and says that he will get a counselor. I feel that I should leave because I always question my safety because of the potential of him being physical again. I now have to assure my son�s safety . He has two charges already (which he says he would not have had if I was not around--blaming me) and is aware that a third will land him in jail. A week ago, I said something in an annoyed tone and he hit my leg. He didn't use a lot of force and it did not hurt, but he still hit my leg and apologized directly afterwards. He says that my yelling is a trigger. I was not yelling at that time, I raised my voice with an upset tone. He always uses excuses, this time saying that he is also adjusting to new medication and that I yelled. He later said that there is no excuse for his behavior and then he has a problem that he needs help for. It seems that he has no control if he did that while knowing that he can get in major trouble. I know that if he seeks help that it will take time and that is why I feel that I should leave in the meantime. I want to keep my safety, but am still thinking about how leaving will affect him. He is on disability (for his bi polar and multiple hospitalizations) and does not make much money. He says we should still get a place together again and remain married and that I will see that things will change. I am worried (about myself as well as him) and afraid. He has said that if I leave, he will become desperate. I am not sure what he means. I do not know if he means depressed or suicidal. I want out and am afraid because I always read about stories of the abusive person becoming worse when they know that the other is leaving. How do I leave? I have to get a place back in another state (back at home). He moved here with me and then we got married. He will also be moving back to the same state (we are from the same place). I cannot just pack up and leave. I have to make arrangements. If I leave without notice----I will be leaving him here with the apt. as we are both about to move. I also do not know about the legal issues involved with taking our newborn with me when I leave. I gave him notice so that he could make arrangements to find a new place separate from me....but he is only trying to stop me from separating...not making arrangements. How should I approach this????

Sorry to hear that. You and your babys' safety come first so I would suggest go to a church and then call police to explain the situation. You need to report it everytime when he hits you, threatens you or you just feel afraid of him. I know it is difficult to do but I don't suggest calling the police if you are home, especially if he's there. Try not to trigger that anger. You might need a restraining order after!!!!! Take care and good luck ;=)